The Push Toward The End: Journal | April 2020

By Quinn Humphrey

4/5/20
So today is the first day that I’ll be documenting my time in quarantine. It’s been a crazy few weeks and I can feel myself going stir crazy being so isolated. It’s way worse for me, being a diabetic and all. My parents don’t want me to go out or interacting with anyone. They just don’t want me to get sick, which I can understand.

With my parents back in Pelham for the weekend, my sisters and I were in charge of the house. When I woke up today, we spent the better part of the morning cleaning floors and scrubbing toilets. Pretty sure the house was spotless by the time we had finished. You could eat a full meal off the toilets I cleaned.

After we had wrapped up cleaning, one of my sisters and I drove to the grocery store nearby to see if we could find some ingredients for dinner. It’s about a 20-minute drive from where we are staying. Along the way, I only saw about 10 people. There were even less when we entered the store. Nearly every person I saw was wearing a mask or gloves and keeping their distance from each other. It was a scene straight out of a video game or something.

I spent my childhood playing apocalypse video games with stories that focus on the end of the world. It’s kind of insane playing stories in a fictional world and seeing similar events unfolding in the real world. Supermarkets sold out of supplies, people starting to panic and the global economy falling apart. In a sense, I’m starting to get terrified myself.

On the bright side, I possibly get to see Katie at the end of this week. Katie is my girlfriend and her family is isolating at a vacation house in Maine. I’m not exactly thrilled about the five-hour drive I will be making, but it’s worth it if I get to see her.

4/6/20
Another tedious Monday. My only class of the day was a 3 p.m. film class that I have completely lost interest in. It’s also two hours long and takes up a ton of my time during an already busy week. I’ve pretty much been doing my homework day by day and have not focused on the day ahead.

My routine consists of getting bits and pieces of my work at home done before classes begin and sleeping the rest of the day. My parents believe that I’m depressed or something, but it’s getting on my nerves. Yeah, I’m still getting over the fact that school was canceled and I lost the second half of my sophomore year of college, but I still have more time.

At least, that’s what I’m hoping for at this point.

4/7/20
Tuesday is here. I told myself that I would wake up early in order to get my work done, but I woke up an hour before my zoom class and took care of it then. I keep telling myself that I’ll get my work done early and get it out of the way, yet I have no motivation to really give my full self anymore.

On a lighter note, there is this woodpecker just outside my window that loves making sure I’m awake. The drilling sounds he makes are soothing and a very natural alarm clock. When the afternoon breezes begin to pass by our hill, the woodpecker is gone. It seems as though his interest in that specific tree has faded like the sun disappearing behind the clouds.

It’s so beautiful up here. The warm weather that spring brings is fast upon us. The hill that we reside on is getting warmer with every day. Squirrels and chipmunks scatter in the leaves that encompass the backyard.

I’m currently documenting my day while I’m sitting in my class. My motivation for the remainder of this semester is fading by the day. I just want to be done and not need to log into Zoom every day.

I just drove back from Hillsdale after interviewing people for my first dispatch. I didn’t realize how many nutjobs there are up here. One woman that I was interviewing blamed the outbreak of COVID-19 on the implementation of 5G internet.

4/8/20
I pretty much spent the day grinding out my schoolwork and getting my deadlines done for The Collegian. Even though we aren’t on campus anymore doesn’t mean that the school newspaper is taking a break. Articles are being written about life at home and my editors are looking for all the content they can put out, especially now.

If things work out with my parents I’ll be in Maine this weekend. That’s what I’ve been looking forward to throughout this week. A weekend as far north as I’ll be able to go with cold air and amazing views. It’ll be a nice change of scenery and a chance to avoid going stir-crazy after being cooped up with my family for the past few weeks.

4/9/20
I woke up at 5:45 a.m. this morning to drive up to Maine. It wasn’t as bad as I thought the drive would be. When I woke up, there was barely any light outside. The air was cold and soggy after the thunderstorm last night. You could see the light from the sun beginning to creep up past the Berkshires as I drove down our hill.

To no one’s surprise, there weren’t many cars on the road. A few trucks hauling goods up and down the interstates, but nothing out of the ordinary. I stopped along the way to get gas and a few snacks for the five-hour drive. When I crossed into New Hampshire, it started raining. The wipers on my small car were giving me trouble so I had to pull over in a run-down gas station along Interstate 495. The station was tiny. The highway was nearly empty and with a sudden downpour, it became even bleaker. The clerk inside the store was wearing a thick N-95 mask behind the plexiglass shield he hid behind. I can’t imagine spending this time being locked behind a glass barrier, watching the decay of the world from a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it gas station in New Hampshire.

When I arrived at my destination, I was greeted with hand sanitizer and a bunch of hugs from my girlfriend’s family. They asked me how my drive was and if I wanted anything to eat. I’ll log how the weekend went after I drive back to Hillsdale.

4/12/20
After another five-hour drive, I’m back home. I call it home because that’s what Hillsdale has become for my family. Our real home is in a place of turmoil and crisis which we cannot return to unless absolutely necessary.

The weekend was amazing. Maine was even more beautiful than I could have imagined. It even snowed on Thursday night. Can you imagine? A freak blizzard in the middle of April! It was great. We all curled around a roaring fire and traded stories from our pasts. It was nice being away from my family and it gave me new clarity about what has been happening around us.

That being said, it’s now time to return to my reality. The week begins anew and with it Zoom classes resume. I’m just hoping I can finish these last two weeks of classes without many problems.

4/13/20
I only had one class today. It was a two-hour film course. It bored me to death. I’d rather run up and down our hill a bunch of times than sit through a discussion about a film I barely watched. At least it’s not all bad. It’s nice being home and talking to family.

While I was gone, my dad made a lot of progress on the 2,000-piece puzzle that we started last week. The thing is really coming together. The plan, as of now, is to have the family sign the back of it and frame it as a reminder of our time in quarantine together. A very wholesome project that makes being stuck together seem worth it.

4/16/20
It’s the end of the week. My classes ended this morning and all I can think about is relaxing. My parents are going back home for two days to get away from the mundane routine around here and that’s fine by me. It gives me a chance to relax while they’re gone. Here’s hoping I can end up entertaining myself somehow.

4/18/20
So it’s Saturday. I may or may not have spent most of the night playing video games and wound up sleeping in the basement. I’ve done it before, and with little consequence. With my parents gone, they can’t give me crap for not staying on top of my stuff. I just want school to be over and finals to be done with so that I can drive back up to Maine again. This whole experience just sucks to be honest

4/19/20
The Sunday Scaries are hitting me with full force. I have a whole bunch of work that I need to get done, and I haven’t started it. It’s currently 12 p.m at the moment, and I need to get started. I’ll return to this log when I finish up most, if not all, of the work I need to get done.

So, I lied. I said I would get most of the work done and that just did not happen. I got the smaller projects done and finalized. Now I just need to actually sit down and take care of all of my responsibilities.

4/20/19
The last Monday of the semester. I can’t believe we’re almost done. After this week of classes, I’ll have no reason to get out of bed. I’ll have no reason to stay productive. I won’t have anything to do. I’ll just be a body in my home, bored out of my mind.

My biggest worry is that I’ll waste my time in quarantine. I think that given the circumstance, this time has been full of chaos and laughter. I’ve been fuming with anger and uncontrollably laughing. It feels as though a large chapter of quarantine is coming to a close. Once school is over, I’m wandering out into unknown territory.

4/21/19
Tuesday. I got my draft for one of my final papers done. I just want everything to be over. No more projects. No more assignments. I just want to be done.

Only a few more days left. A few more days.

4/22/19
Wednesday. Had my last film class of the semester. Wasn’t as festive as I thought it would be. Again, this week is almost over. When it ends, the summer begins for everyone and we all fall into the unknown together.

4/23/19
Thursday. I have my last journalism course of the semester. We all wore funny hats to celebrate the end of the semester. I’m not sure if I’ll see anyone in any of my classes in the fall. We’d be lucky to even go back. Abroad is probably cancelled. The fall semester is uncertain. My family wants me to transfer out of Richmond to avoid paying a full tuition. If UR asks families to pay full tuition, there may be a riot. What is the point of paying full tuition when everyone in the country is attending an online university? It’s a sick joke.

You pay so much money to go to a great university, now you go to school online.

Almost at the end. I’m almost there. After Friday, we all venture into the unknown together.