I’ve walked around Maymont’s grounds before today. I’ve seen the gardens and their beauty, I’ve played games on the manor’s lawn, I’ve sat under timeless trees but the nature center and its exhibit were something different from what I had experienced before.
The nature center felt almost childish at first, in the best way possible. The small group of fellow lodgers and I greatly enjoyed pushing bright buttons and watching light shows display different parts of the james river and its watershed. We made faces at the fish and turtles, laughing at their simple motions. At one point a man with a small (fully grown mind you) screech owl, no more than 8 inches tall walked by and invited us outside to chat and learn about the owl. Overjoyed by the fact that we might get to interact with such a cute owl we happily and quickly followed him outside and talked and discussed different things involving owls; how fine their eyesight is, how they only twist their heads because their eyes can’t rotate in place, how there are owls everywhere but they go unnoticed in the day because of how still they are.
We shortly after we had finished talking with the man but I kept feeling like there was something I was missing, something that I felt I should have learned. In all of my fun and activities I feel that I only learned just a small bit. I have a better grasp on the how the mountains and flatlands play a part in the James’ creation. I know a bit more about the different animals that live in the waters. But overall, I left wanting more knowledge about the river and it’s surrounding area. I guess that’s why I’m excited about our class and the chance to learn more about the river.
I like the creative introduction! It caught my attention immediately. Be careful with your grammar and syntax. After the first sentence, commas are used inappropriately to separate the next few sentences. There are some additional grammatical breakdowns, especially in the final paragraph. The final paragraph also introduces an interesting notion about something lacking in your visit. That could be expanded and linked to the owl encounter. For example, you could think some more about how the owl fits into the central thesis in structuring the essay.
The use of contractions is fine here, but avoid them on your synthesis papers that you hand in. One way to start making use of the web-based platform would be to embed a simple hyperlink to the Maymont Nature Center in the text. Additional material could follow to help support the richness of your text.