Kienan Brownrigg
Uncertain Time
Time is an aspect of our lives that is so prevalent, yet indefinable. In our uncertain lives, we turn to the clock constantly for reassurance and find comfort in the fixed measurement of time and the regulation that is provides us with. We know that an hour is made up of 60 minutes, each day is made up 24 hours, and each year is made up of 365 days. The only unclear measurement is how many years our lives are made up with. This is a huge factor that differentiates the meaning of time in each individual’s life. The first moment I truly stopped to evaluate the significance that time played in my life was 5 years ago on July 10th of 2007.
It was Independence Day in the Bahamas and I had spent the day at the beach with a group of my friends. As the day went on and it hit seven o’clock, I decided to make my way home as I had a bit of a walk in front of me. I knew that if I took a shortcut, that I could make it home in half the time. So in spite of being skeptical of this routes seclusion, I decided I would save myself some time and take the quicker way regardless. I remember feeling a sense of uncertainty about my decision as I walked alone while the sun crept beneath the trees. It was too late to turn back, so despite my uneasiness, I proceeded. As I turned the corner, I noticed a group of men huddled up in the middle of the street. These men were by no means friends, and that was evident from the body language they were displaying. While I should have analyzed the situation further and been wiser about my judgment before approaching them, my naivety told me to just walk around them and continue down my path. I figured they were too consumed in their own situation to notice a helpless bystander. As I reached earshot, I was able to make out many threatening words and I immediately sensed the danger that accompanied the situation. My judgment kicked in and I knew I had made a mistake by not turning around. Before my mind could even instruct my body to turn around and walk in the opposite direction, my eyes diverted to the gun that was being drawn from one mans pocket. I froze. My eyes, my body, my mind, my thoughts, and even time all seemed to be static in that very moment. I felt as though my entire world had halted and the only thing that remained in motion was the gun that continued to rise. I can imagine that in reality, the gun was briskly retrieved and shoved at the other mans chest, but my mind was no longer following realities momentum; everything was being drawn out in slow motion. Before my mind could process what my response to the situation should be, my body grasped control and took off in the opposite direction. I ran and ran as I heard several gunshots fire behind me. With each gunshot, it felt as though my heart would escape my chest. Time seemed to speed up to match the pace of my pounding heart and rapid pulse. I did not stop running and I did not look back; I continued running as fast as my feet would take me until I reached the safety of my house.
I remember hours later, still sitting on my bed being totally zoned out to the rest of the world. I felt as though I was in a trance and time was waiting for my approval to continue on at a normal pace. Hours felt like mere seconds as they passed by while I remained motionless in my fixed position. My head was spinning as I replayed what I had just witnessed over and over in my head. It was not until my rapid heart beat settled and it’s audible pounding become silent that I snapped out of my trance and focused my mind on the present. Reality was too harsh to comprehend and my mind and body drifted into a deep sleep.
The next day as I awoke, I entered the kitchen to a discussion between my parents over the newspaper headlines: “Young Man Shot Dead”. The article deliberated on the death of a 25 year old man who was shot twice in the chest on the very street that I was on, at the very time that I ran away. I can recall so vividly questioning the motives of time. How cruel and selfish it was for having no regard for human lives. How could it just continue on while this mans life seized to exist?
From that moment on, I would constantly appreciate and value each minute of each day. Every bit of time that is spent breathing is time that that unfortunate man will never experience. Our days on this earth are not guaranteed and are not limitless. This life is full of uncertainties, the biggest of all being the amount of time they we have left to experience, discover, and enjoy what life has to offer. To live with the expectations that time will make exceptions for us and that it will alter its course in our favor is a mistake. Time follows it’s own specific and steady path. Time lives on even when we do not.