Honestly, it is very hard for me to simply reflect at my reflection spot today. With midterms, projects, spring break plans, and study abroad stress, it’s difficult to clear my mind at all really. Last time I was here in the gazebo, I was thinking about the seasons and how they can change the look of the lake from where I was sitting, and also how there were different seasons in my own life and how I had changed. The lake was half frozen, it was cold outside, and there was still snow on the ground. Now the lake isn’t frozen, but it’s still chilly and cloudy, and it’s supposed to snow tomorrow apparently. I’m kind of unimpressed with my surroundings. It’s March now, but it feels as though no time has passed with the weather so similar to what it was in January. Where is the spring? Where is the green grass, the warmer weather, the liveliness in the air? I can’t seem to drag myself away from the current chaos in my mind, so that is also putting a damper on my reflecting process.
I think my problem lies in my expectations. I want it to be spring. I want to be past the stress of exams. I want to know exactly how things will work out with study abroad. It’s hard to slow down and appreciate the present. While I want to be studying right now and my mind is telling me to think about other things, I need to just appreciate the lake and the beauty of the nature around me. The water and the clouds move at their own pace and the trees aren’t in a rush to grow. Being in touch with nature allows me to shift the focus from my stress to seeing the beauty and simplicity of life. When we went to the heron rookery with Ralph White, I saw that those birds also weren’t trying to rush things. The females come back and meet with their mate and they build their nest and have babies. The males probably weren’t worrying about whether the females would come back and weren’t in a rush to make their nest faster and better than their neighbors’. Our problems seem kind of silly when I can see how well this worry-free system works for the herons.