I feel lucky because even though it’s only the first semester of my sophomore year I have gone to James River park system many times. I know that at University Richmond there many people here who go their entire four years without exploring everything that the park system has to offer. Swimming, kayaking, tubingx just hanging out the rocks, and exploring the wildlife have been some of the most serene experiences of ever had in my entire life.
My first experience by the river we went tubing through the rapids and I made it almost all the away across just hopping on and off rocks protruding from the rushing water. Once I reached the largest rock, dead set in the middle of the riverbed, I splayed out and soaked in everything around us. Hearing the birds chirp, watching the fish dart around the rocks and currents of the River, which the suns rays so simply reflect off of, it all possessed a natural beauty that any definition does not seem to truly capture.
The central idea about the JRPS providing an oasis of serenity within the urban landscape is excellent. This focus could have been expressed more explicitly as a thesis statement at the end of your first paragraph. Subsequent paragraphs could have supported the thesis with your interesting examples. These paragraphs could be improved by focusing them on topic sentences better. The typos and loose organization are distracting and can interfere with the communication of ideas. Flesh out this concept of serenity a bit more and you would have an excellent essay.