It is the end of the year. All that is left are final exams. Everyone is anxious and nervous about their finals, and we also have to write our last synthesis essay for class. I have put this off for as long as I can in part because I had no idea what to write about. But here I am in the Lakeview lounge, sitting in the spot I have sat down in countless times this year, trying to figure out what to say.
It is a rainy Sunday afternoon and I am sitting in the Lakeview lounge thinking about the year, all that the class has done, all that I have done, and all that has been learned. I decided to skim through all of my blogs to remind myself about everything I have experienced this year. What these old blogs showed me was that there was a significant difference in myself from the first blog to the last blog. For this reason, I decided to completely read all of my first blog and all of my last blog. Even though these two blogs had different topics, I was amazed at what I realized about myself.
Everyone knew going into this year that I loved the outdoors and had a willingness to try anything. I knew this also about myself and was very proud of my love for adventure and my knowledge of the great outdoors. My first blog assignment was to write about the Gambils Mill Trail on campus. As I re-read this first blog I remember walking on the trail and taking very detailed notes because I had never been there before and needed to remember so much. While I was taking notes of the trail, I was also scrutinizing the landscape and scenery of the trail. I was comparing it to my vast knowledge of trails I had visited over the past decade. For some reason the Gambils Mill Trail did not match my expectations. As time went on, however, I was able to see the beauty in this trail that I had missed before.
The last blog was about our community service hours. I wrote about going to Belle Isle to pick up trash on a Saturday, which was also Pig Roast day for the University of Richmond. One thing that I stated in this blog was that it was times like that, being with friends having fun doing volunteer work, that I will never forget and wish I could experience every day. It was so much fun waking up early, having breakfast, and picking up trash with my friends even though it was Pig Roast. What I came to realize is that I would rather miss Pig Roast every year to experience the feeling I got that day. It was amazing how much one random thank you by a stranger could make me feel. I loved the fact that I was doing something worthwhile and people appreciated my efforts.
As the reader you might not see the significant difference in these two blogs like I do, but I will try to explain. Starting off this year I cannot believe I thought I was such a knowledgeable outdoors person who had a willingness to try anything. After comparing my first blog with my last blog, I realize I was a bit arrogant and ignorant. For someone who is so willing to try new things and prides herself with her vast knowledge of the outdoors, I should have visited and explored the Gambils Mill Trail earlier than I did. I most likely did not have the time because I was out socializing or watching a movie in my free time. I am not saying I did not give up some free time to spend outdoors, I just had different priorities and I spent less time outdoors than I should have. Going from my first blog to my last blog I see that instead of spending my day on campus socializing, I decided to wake up extremely early and spend my day picking up trash. At the start of the year I was comparing my surroundings to what I had seen before, sometimes ignoring a trail if it was not the most beautiful. Not only was that arrogant of me, it was ignorant. Even if something is not as pretty as I am used to, I should not just walk by it and ignore it. In class we learn how important the ecosystem is to all living things and how we can help out. Now at the end of the year I am happy to say I can walk by something that might not be perfect and see the beauty in it. I notice the littlest bugs, the different types of vegetation, and the hidden treasures I might not have noticed before. I find myself thinking of ways I can help the ecosystem whether it is by planting some sort of plant species so the deer stop eating all of the plants or pushing the Filterra Bioretention system for a side walk that would filter the water and soil. I am more aware now that I do not know everything. Instead, I now have a huge desire to learn more about the environment that surrounds me. Class has taught me the difference between a white oak and a red oak, what a watershed is, as well as the history of Richmond and the James River with the Native Americans and William Byrd III. I feel like I have been transformed into what I thought I was at the start of the year. I finally have a genuine willingness to try anything. I have a better awareness of the ecosystem and now recognize I have a lot more to learn. I can also say I have a true appreciation for everything around me even if it is a small bug in the mud.
After reading my blogs I decided to look at other blogs written by fellow students in the class. The first blog I read was by Hans. In this blog he talks about when he walked the Gambils Mill Trail. I chuckled to myself, not because it was funny but because of the irony. Hans wrote his blog very similar to mine. We both had similar first impressions of the trail. The difference however was that he recognized his shortcomings when it came to his knowledge of the outdoors and his love for nature. He explained how he used to love nature but it is no longer a priority for him. Hans displayed a better self awareness than me. I’m glad I read this blog today, because if I had read this blog the first week of class I would not have compared myself to his writings at all. The second blog I read was by Shannon on her community service for the last blog. I found myself smiling and was happy as I read her blog, instead of laughing like I did over Hans’ first blog because of the irony. Shannon ended her blog with an explanation as to why people perform volunteer work. She explained “we care about the health of our local ecosystems because that’s something that benefits us all” and community service is “one of the most altruistic, selfless practices”. She writes about the beauty and happiness she receives by volunteering. I am pleased to say I couldn’t agree with her more. I truly see the value in volunteering and am happy with myself for how much I have grown. This year I have transformed into the person I have always wanted to be. At the same time, I am aware I will continue to grow and learn and I cannot wait for next year to see what new awaits me.