I’ve always considered myself a builder. Not necessarily in the carpenter sense of the word (if I’m wielding a hammer, watch out), but more so that I’d rather see the construction of things rather than their destruction. I don’t think this view point is particularly disagreeable nor that uncommon, and it makes sense to me that given the option between helping to build a green house or tear up weeds at the William Byrd House Farmlet, I chose the former.
It felt good to volunteer my time and I think the combination between being off campus, hanging out with Lodgers, and actually doing something productive with my Saturday morning for once helped cultivate this feeling. In truth, it felt more than good. At the risk of sounding like an ideological 20 year old after completing only four hours of community service, it felt refreshing to be alive. In campus culture it is easy to lose yourself in events and questions that are too affecting of your own life—who I’m going to see today, what’s for dinner, where my friends are, when is my next meeting, how much homework I have.
Why?
This type of life style is unsustainable for the inquisitive mind. Focusing so much on the self and personal development will paradoxically end up stifling that very progress by confining your view of the world to the narrowest of lenses. I’m beginning to see that it is of utmost importance to keep an open mind and experience how the world actually functions, not just inside this little bubble.
Certainly a balance can be reached.
While Carolyn and I were prepping and cataloguing building materials for the green house, our friend Mathew dropped some knowledge on us that definitely widened my blinders and disillusioned me to the greater Richmond area. Although we were building this green house for the benefit of the greater community, we needed to be cautious of what windows (e.g. the expensive unique ones) we used on what parts of the green house because the threat of vandalism was very real.
It didn’t occur to me that some people might contravene with what we were trying to accomplish at the Farmlet. This is a community center, one that has been designed and run for the benefit of the surrounding neighborhoods and it didn’t make sense to me why this would be the target of vandalism. That said, I’m a builder—I don’t think I’m able to understand breaking something just because. Mathew’s point was very poignant and struck a chord with me; is our work appreciated and who is it for? How much can we enhance the community in a mere four hours of work if one stone can set it back more?
Bubble popping in our own back yard.
What an interesting thought. Thank you for sharing this–though I disagree with your friend a little bit. I see where he is coming from, however isn’t the joy you get from doing the service still the same, even if – in time – something happens to possibly hurt it? I think it is. Having the mindset of “whats the point, it’ll only get destroyed” can be very destructive! That could keep moms from doing the dishes – or any cleaning for that matter. I certainly agree the people need to broaden their view and get outside of their little bubble!
I’ve been recently wrestling with these same issues, especially the one referencing a general dissatisfaction with the monotony of life here. My theory is that it’s the combination of being a second-semester sophomore, being at a small school, and taking similar classes with similar people with very few breaks in between. Personally, getting out into the city is by far the best method of combatting this encroaching apathy. While obviously I don’t like the idea of vandalism–nobody does–I find myself inclined to care more about that type of real-world, immediately addressable issue than the academic work I’m doing here, and that’s the real conundrum. It’s essential that we push through these few years of preparation to go out into the real world, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to conform to the ritualistic expectations that accompany that preparation. I suppose that’s the way it should be though, because otherwise we’d be reluctant to move forward and we’d lose the will and agency to progress.
Shannon, I’ve been feeling that way a lot as well (perhaps that’s obvious), specifically with my sophomore curriculum. Most notably I’ve determined that it is of utmost importance to not deter your own happiness; this can become dangerous and addictive. I touched on this idea in another post. So we’re going to school and putting up with a lot of relatively bullshit classes that for the foreseeable future have no import on our lives and are for all intents and purposes, useless. Just busy work that someone says you’ll have to do. Now, we do this work because we feel that it will lead to a better life in the future, in the “real world” as you put it. You say it’s essential.
But when does it end? At what point on our lives do we decide that we’ve had enough of jumping through hoops and start to live for our own happiness? Is it when we graduate form UR? When we land that sweet spot in an awesome graduate program? When we sell our first painting?
Things don’t change too much in the working world. Situations change but ideas and viewpoints stay largely the same, and indeed become ingrained in how we perceive things should be. Instead of working for the grade you’re working for that promotion and all important recognition.
An apathetic approach to the “do this now because it will help me later” mentality won’t go away once you’ve graduated, and this is very dangerous for people who so much would like to succeed because of this tendency to just settle with their uncertainties instead of confronting them. This breeds complacency and doesn’t foster any true happiness in your success. You’re just waiting for things to get better. Will they?
I think it’s important to cultivate a mindset that says that my own satisfaction with life is nonnegotiable. Don’t simply view schooling as a trial, a necessary time of tolerance with the prospect of a better future, but rather an experience for growth. In everything, you should have autonomy–a say. Especially in your education.
And I believe this is important. I don’t just want to achieve something, I want to be truly satisfied with my work knowing that is has been built on my passions. I don’t just want to reach my aspirations, but I want to enjoy the process.
Perhaps we all just take life a little too seriously sometimes.