What a Life I Lead in the Summer

My three main goals for this summer, as referenced in my previous writings for the Jepson Internship course, were to improve my interpersonal skills, specifically in the areas of management and confrontation, to plan further ahead of time, and most importantly, to make a significant impact on the lives of those around me.

I feel good about how I utilized my management skills and improved my confrontation skills, specifically in the lifeguarding course that I taught. For example, I had one very difficult conversation with a participant who failed the pre-course evaluation, in which we discussed options going forward. Although I was extremely doubtful that he would pass upon a second attempt, I offered him the chance to redo the evaluation. While this was a small time sacrifice for me, I knew it meant a lot to him, and it also gave him the chance to realize for himself that becoming a lifeguard may not be the right choice.

I also realized that my tendency to shy away from confrontation is not a complete weakness. I noticed midway through the summer that one of my swimming instructors was having issues with her tone when she spoke with campers. Although I could have addressed this with her myself, I knew this was a larger issue than just in swimming periods, and I also knew that she was quite defensive when given feedback. Because of this, I talked to supervisory staff who were better equipped to have that conversation than I was. Through this, I learned that confrontation for the sake of confrontation is not necessary—rather, the more essential skill is learning when to ask for help. I am okay with the reframing of that goal.

I do think, however, that I improved my skills in having difficult conversations—another version of confrontation, I suppose. I became a go-to resource for other staff who were looking for advice on how to have such conversations with campers, and I did not shy away from tough talks with my own campers. As I touched on in my week six post, during first session, we had a “bully” in my cabin, and it got to the point where we truly needed to stage a full intervention, something that is extremely unusual at camp. While the girls’ campus head talked with the bully, my co-counselor and I spoke with the rest of the cabin about how to support each other and preserve friendships with the bully, despite some of her unwanted behavior. Emotions ran high, but I feel extremely proud of how my co-counselor and I facilitated the conversation and managed the situation. In this situation and in one-on-one conversations with campers, I found that when you are acting upon an already-established level of respect, it is much easier to have the tough conversations.

I am not sure I have completely revolutionized my ability to plan ahead of time, but I think I did better than previous summers, measured on events that I was able to accomplish. I think it was a realistic amount of progress to be expected—my planning still fit within my style, but most importantly, within the camp timeframe. In the camp world, changes are almost expected to be made on the fly, and even the most carefully thought-out plan can be thrown out on the spot. You have to be ready for things that you cannot foresee. I think I learned that planning is necessary to an extent, but sometimes, you need to just send it, and count on commitment and enthusiasm to carry you through. Planning is probably a skill I will need to continue to work on elsewhere in my life.

Lastly, I remain as confident as ever that camp allows me to have the greatest possible impact on the lives of those around me. Alan, the camp director, often reads us a selection of surveys filled out by the campers at the end of each session. In the closing speech to the staff this summer, he said he had been thinking yesterday while he read the survey answers for the last session. These surveys ask the campers, among other things, how they change as a result of their few weeks at camp. The answers that he reads often say things like, “I’m more willing to break out of my comfort zone and try new things, knowing that I might fail,” and “I’m more confident in myself and my ability to make choices, even if they’re different than my friends.” It is some powerful stuff for kids to say about what is, in reality, only a few weeks in their lives. After reading that session’s answers, Alan said he finally had something that we should say to people who asked what we did this summer: “Tell them you changed the world.” He said that it is not just about the one camper’s life that we changed this summer, but it is about the lives that they touch once they leave by utilizing the things they have learned here to make the outside world a bit more like the camp community. It sounds grandiose to those who have not experienced it, but I deeply believe it is true. I can see it in campers, and I can see it in myself.

As I stated in my Personal Plan Paper and as a secondary goal to the others, I wanted to network with the people I work with, many of whom have similar values and aspirations, in order to figure out a better idea of what I might want to do after graduation. After an experience like this one, it is hard to get excited about sitting in a cubicle.  In an ideal world, I would work at Kingsley Pines Camp year-round, forever, however, for multiple reasons, I understand that is not feasible. Through talking with my coworkers about their jobs for the other nine months of the year, I have realized that I may want to continue to choose an untraditional path after graduation and continue in this field in some form. I am now thinking about returning to camp next summer in a supervisory role and exploring outdoor and experiential education, despite the social pressure that may deter me. Through talking with those who have taken similar paths, I now have a better idea of how to make that happen, and I also have a team to back me up along the way.

In addition to these planned goals, I also learned two major things that I did not foresee. Camp is unusual, in that as the summer begins, I rarely know what I will accomplish, even when I do set goals. Sometimes, it is not until weeks or even years later that I understand the impact of each summer.

Our assistant director, Laura Jo, gives a very motherly talk to us at the beginning of every summer about “vitality buckets.” Essentially, our vitality buckets have three parts—contribution, communication, and vitality. When one is empty or running low, it affects the other two. Laura Jo asks us to set goals at the beginning of the summer to keep our vitality buckets full—my two items are always sleeping and running. In past years, I had heard this talk, but I never really took it to heart. However, multiple times this summer, I felt myself and my energy levels dragging in a way that I do not normally experience at camp. After some self-reflection, I realized it was truly that my vitality bucket was running low and affecting my ability to do my job. I realized that the amount of time and energy that I was spending on my campers and coworkers was actually beginning to negatively impact the rest of my job performance. The extra swimming lessons during free time, midnight talks with scared campers, and sunrise hikes had eaten into what filled my vitality bucket. By constantly pulling off grand events that I thought should be the “20 year memories,” I was unconsciously infringing upon the small moments that can matter the most.

Frankly, a lot of the stress I took on this summer and the deterioration of my vitality bucket was from taking on other responsibilities on top of my regular role. I knew that I would be looked to this summer to take on more responsibility because of my experience. While this was flattering, I realized that I cannot do it all. It is okay to be flattered when asked, but also to say no. After this realization, I began to learn to set boundaries and prioritize—still putting campers first, but in a more balanced way.

Lastly, the biggest thing I learned this summer was my value and how good I am at what I do, even if it took the complete overloading of my plate to realize this. Feedback at camp comes from all angles, and I received this affirmation from my supervisors, my coworkers, but most importantly, my campers. This summer, I connected more deeply with my campers than ever before, and I felt the reward of those connections. Ever since I was little, I looked up to my counselors, and it is a tremendous feeling to have become a role model to both campers and staff. A concrete moment when this clicked for me was when Mo, the girls’ campus head, told me that if I choose to come back next summer, I would have my pick of promotions because of how valued I am to this community. Because of how much I look up to Mo, hearing that in concrete terms from her meant more to me than the job offers.

My leadership studies classes provided a concrete framework into which I could fit the practical experiences I was having. Specifically, I found Theories and Models of Leadership most applicable to my experience this summer. I think this was because not only was the material most fresh in my mind going into the summer, but it also provided the most practical insights into situations and structures. It provides the “why” behind the staff week teambuilding training and the positive reinforcement model we use with our campers. Because of this, I often find myself wishing that Jepson would implement more of a practical, teambuilding component to the curriculum because of how easily observable the classroom learning comes out in environments like teambuilding.

For years, I have wondered why Kingsley Pines Camp has been so successful in comparison to its peer camps and other camps that I have worked at or attended. Connecting the philosophy behind our camper and staff goals to leadership theory helped me understand why Kingsley Pines may be as effective as it is. The realization that Alan, the camp director, operates on a mostly transformational leadership model made the studies we read on transactional vs. transformational leadership to come to life and helped me make connections between classroom and practice. There are countless examples of leadership visible at camp—formal and informal, directors down to campers, and everything in between. After making that connection, I can see transformational leadership visible on almost all these levels. This connection also helped me realize where this summer’s staff fell short, and how that can be improved upon in future years.

Under Alan’s transformational leadership, the unity of the entire staff working toward common goals creates deeper unity than I have witnessed in many other places. I have found deeper and truer connections here than almost anywhere else in the world. It is a rewarding feeling to know that through thick and thin, these people believe in me and will have my back through anything I choose to do with my life. The relationships are truly what make Kingsley Pines more than a summer job.