“Why Not?” – Making the Most of Service Opportunities

Maybe the kick-off of the Jepson School's 150 Days in a Lifetime of Service campaign is just what I needed to get reengaged in service to others. Although I've had every intention to find a cause to which I could devote my time and energy in recent months, the truth is that I've fallen back on a variety of excuses not to: I just moved to a new city (Charlotte, NC) with my wife; we're looking for a house; I just started a new job in June; I'm traveling for business; I just want to relax with friends on the weekend; it's football season€¦ the list goes on.

The funny thing is that this is the first time in six years that I don't have a weekly or biweekly commitment to serving others. Like many Richmond alumni, I moved to Washington D.C. after graduation and settled into a routine of working hard, going out Thursday through Saturday nights, playing sports on the weekend, and sleeping in whenever I could. It wasn't until 2002, when my good friend Jeff Thompson (Jepson class of 2000) and his then-girlfriend-now-wife Elizabeth Hopfinger (also Jepson class of 2000) moved to D.C. that I finally found something worthwhile to do with my Tuesday nights.

You see, Elizabeth took a leadership position with a faith-based organization for teenagers with special needs in Northern Virginia. She organized bi-weekly "club nights" with games, skits, music, and inspirational talks. You'll also be proud to hear that on alternate Tuesdays she would host "Leadership Development" night for a handful of special needs teens. (I think she still owes the Jepson School some royalty fees for borrowing its curriculum!) I was living with Jeff in Arlington, Virginia at the time, and one night he and Elizabeth asked me if I wanted to come to "club" and see what it was all about.

I figured, "Why not?" and showed up at the house of a family in the community promptly at 6:30 p.m. What followed next could best be described as sheer bedlam as about 40 teens – so excited to finally have an accepting and encouraging social environment in which to interact – laughed, shrieked, clapped, bounced and howled. It was amazing to watch, and more than a little intimidating for a newcomer.

I had never worked with people with special needs before. I hadn't even been around them much. I did my best to befriend a few of the kids I met, but still felt like I was a complete outsider. Elizabeth asked me if I would be a "buddy" to Marjorie, a very sweet 16-year-old girl with special needs, for the rest of the evening.

Just as the group formed lines to begin an egg-carry relay on the lawn, I realized that Marjorie – a young woman of few words – didn't have an egg. I gave her a plastic spoon and told her to hang tight for a moment while I set out to find her an egg so she could participate. Just as soon as I found her an egg, one of the other volunteers grabbed me to assist with another teen who needed help. About ten minutes passed before I made my way back outside. There I found Marjorie, standing in the exact same spot I had asked her wait, smiling broadly, and still holding the plastic spoon in her hand with her arm bent at a right angle. It was as if we had consented to an unspoken game of Simon Sez, and I had forgotten to break the spell.

I quickly realized that Marjorie was just happy to be someplace where she could be herself and have fun with other teenagers – both typical teens and those with special needs. Any apprehension and self-consciousness I felt when I arrived had disappeared – it was all about making sure Marjorie and her friends were having a good time.

With only a few exceptions, I didn't miss a Tuesday night club for three years in the Washington D.C. area and then two more in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, where I moved in 2006. The friends I made throughout those five-plus years were among the most genuine and accepting I'll ever encounter. And in the end, it began because I answered, "Why not?" when friends asked me if I wanted to help them serve others.

I'm all out of excuses here in my new community. It's time for me to find new service opportunities, to meet new people and make new friends, and to get reacquainted with the Jepson spirit. On behalf of myself and Jonathan Zur, who is co-chairing the 150 Days in a Lifetime of Service virtual community engagement campaign, I hope you'll join me and say, "Why not?"