Gear up. I’ve got a heebie-jeebie-inducing Facepalm to start your semester off right.

They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless you’re talking about a killer case of rabies. An Arizona family is suing the New York-New York Resort after claiming they were exposed to a potentially rabies-infected bat found trespassing in their hotel room. After hearing an unusual squeaking sound emanating from behind the curtains, Marcus Rucker and fam discovered the inverted interloper and promptly killed it. Personally, I would have asked it politely to vacate first, or at least mentioned to the front desk that a flying rodent was hanging around. Ba-dum. The Ruckers then placed the vampiric visitor in a plastic cup and set it in an adjacent stairwell, generously sharing the fun of rabies exposure with every other guest taking the stairs. Upon returning home to Phoenix, they were advised to undergo painful precautionary rabies shots. They are now suing the resort for $15k in medical bills as well as pain and suffering, with their main complaint being the hotel should have known to preserve the bat for rabies testing and didn’t. I know when I find a dead bat in a half-empty beer cup in a hotel stairwell, I like to hang on to that sucker—but maybe that’s just me.

Next, we pay a visit to the Olive Garden, unfortunately. The Olive Garden advertises “When you’re here, you’re family!” Maybe next time you serve your family “fancy” “Italian” “food” (and yes, all those words require quotes here), you might start with some quality control. Michiganite Thomas Howie has filed suit against the pasta-pushing chain for apparently serving him a hot, fresh, steaming bowl of rat’s foot soup. After a few bites of his minestrone, he was “stabbed in the mouth” by a “hairy, clawed rodent foot.” Upon showing his discovery to the waiter, the waiter commented, “That’s funny. We don’t even put meat in minestrone.” No kidding—that’s what he said. Honestly, I don’t think he helped his case there. Now, Howie is suing for $25k for mental anguish, stating he is so traumatized by the incident he can barely eat anything but plain crackers—a feeling understandable to any customer after a meal at the Olive Garden, rat’s foot or not.

Facepalm achieved. Bon Appétit! 

The Facepalm Archives (August 2023)

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