One thing that really stood out to me during this visit was my story partner’s excitement regarding the physical nature of our project. Not only having his story written out in physical form, but that he would have a physical booklet of everyone’s stories to keep. He was especially excited about the fact that he would be able to show the story he told to the people in it, specifically his best friend and her family. I think that this aspect of our project was something I really overlooked before, how the telling of stories can not only bring together the teller of the story and the person listening to it, but also the teller and the people they are telling the story about. I think this visit especially helped me realize how important a project like ours can be to people who have stories to share and the ones in their lives who populate those stories.
This week my partner and I had a very casual conversation. We shared stories briefly about memories connected to music but then we carried the conversation into numerous other topics. We talked about music for a while and my partner told me how his favorite artists included Lil Durk, JCole, and Rod Wave. He mentioned how he loves lyricism in music which is why he loves JCole so much which I found interesting. We also talked about video games for a while and he told me how he loves to play Fortnite so we talked all about the different battlepasses. Although this can seem insignificant or stupid, it showed me how although we are so different we still can have many common interests. My one big takeaway from this conversation is how storytelling can sweep you away. As we were sharing stories and bonding over our love of music and video games, not once did I think about the fact that I was doing this for a class or that Quoron and I were so different. I didn’t think about the fact that I’m a college student at the University of Richmond and he is serving time in a detention center. We were just two people in that moment talking about random things and building a connection.
In terms of his story, I gave it back for him to read to make sure I got everything right and he was satisfied with the story. I was a little surprised because his story is pretty short and I was assuming he’d want me to add some details here and there or fix a portion of the story. It was kind of anticlimactic because after he finished reading it he just handed it back and said “That’s perfect you nailed it.” I also made sure to tell him that he could always change his story (which is about him and his brothers fighting some kids from another hood at school) if he’d like but he was more than satisfied with the current one.
I enjoyed our third visit and it was nice to converse with the same partner as last week. Conversation with my partner felt much more natural than the previous week and that’s primarily because we have gotten to know each other well through storytelling. We also found ourselves getting into other conversations rather than just the prompts.
The prompt this week was when was a time you helped somebody or somebody helped you. I shared my story about helping my grandma find her glasses when I was at her home in New Jersey. J shared that he was biking down stairs because his friend did it, and eventually crashed and split his head open. His father called 911 brought him to the hospital where he got either 3 or 5 stitches. He shared how he still remembers the moment anytime he touches the stitches.
Today my story partner didn’t really have a concrete story in mind but he did talk to me about his favorite music being rap music even though he doesn’t listen to music much. But I told my story about my dad playing ABBA on the car radio on grocery store trips when I was a kid. He even decided to ask me to read his story I typed up out loud. I noticed he asked me first because I think he wanted to avoid talking about his literacy. He also said his handwriting was sloppy to maybe avoid saying anything about his writing skills. So I offered to write his story for him if he draws and colors to accompany the words in his story. He also drew out an entire football field and players on paper to show me how it would look and I gave him ideas.
I noticed more fidgeting this time around and when I tried to lean in to hear him he unconsciously moved his chair back gradually. I think he wanted space which I understand but I have a hard time hearing people when the room is loud and also my voice isn’t that loud to begin with. It’s still a bit hard for me to make conversation and carry that conversation so I let him ask me some questions about college and I answered them. I think it’ll be better once we have something tangible to work on like the storybook. But I think he is excited to work on his story drawings and was happy when I offered to write his story out for him.
This week I was paired with the same person I was with last week, Quoron. Last week when we shared stories with the prompt “What would your perfect day look like?” Quoron’s answer included being in Beverly Hills in a huge mansion with girls around him while smoking a “jay”. When he gave me this answer, I thought it was funny but I also thought it was a sign of him not fully taking the story prompts seriously. I was a little concerned for the upcoming weeks because I knew the prompts would become more personal as we build relationships with the kids and I was worried he would disregard them and make a joke of them. However, I was thankfully proven wrong.
When Professor Dolson shared the prompt “What does your happiest moment look like?” Quoron’s answer caught me off guard completely. He said his happiest moment would be holding his newborn daughter and spending time with her. He then shared how his daughter was born while he was locked up and he hasn’t been able to see her yet, and all he wants is to be with her. I was taken aback by the maturity and sincerity of this answer, especially considering his previous answers to the prompts. I then asked him what it’s like to be a father and know you brought a child into this world and his face immediately lit up with a smile. We then went on about how we both wanted to be good fathers and be there for our kids. It was a wholesome conversation that I completely was not expecting to have which made it even better.
The last time was one of the most fun for me. My group was talking constantly and was bothering me with questions about how my life was, and how my life was in Greece wishes generally about ourselves, and they told me how much they wanted to leave and continue their schooling. One of them told me how she got stabbed in his forehead because of a fight he got in and the other one told me how he struggled in his childhood going from place to place. Overall, though they were laughing a lot with their own responses and I think that’s a coping mechanism because of their traumas.
Today is the last day to go to the Detention Center. Inside, there is no longer the excitement that I felt when I went there for the first time, but a calm heart and a slightly lingering, peaceful state of mind.
Let’s start with something I have noticed before but didn’t mention: the Detention Center in Richmond only has a uniform requirement for clothing – that is, gray clothing – but no requirement for shoes. The juvenile offenders we saw on our visits were all wearing a variety of designer shoes, and if you didn’t look at their clothes, they seemed no different than kids who go to school outside of Richmond.
Back to the topic. This time we discussed two topics: one was “What is your favorite food?” and the other was about favorite music and relate it to our own experiences. This time my group was a little less cooperative with me. When it came to the topic of music, because I hadn’t learned about the artists they were talking about, my group members just started talking with each others – it was obvious that they were very interested in the music, but they refused to answer the questions and share their own experiences in the form of a chat. They even joked to me about their favorite food being cockroaches when talking about food.
Interestingly, one of them also said today that he would love to visit China and I shared with him some of the famous Chinese food and Chinese table customs. They were interested in the low prices in China and I told them that making money in the US and spending it in China is the best way to save money.
During our third visit to the detention center, I was paired up with Mitch and two other story partners. It was clear that the two other partners knew each other, which helped conversation flow naturally. We told stories about helping people out or being helped ourselves to start before moving into stories about our happy places. One major theme that cropped up in our group was that of family. It was clear that to everyone involved, family was very important. This was especially clear when we were telling stories about our happy places. An interesting thing I noticed was the precedence of “found families”, or a group of people that aren’t biologically related to you but treat you like family anyway. My partners from the detention center and myself both shared stories of this sort of found family dynamic. One of my story partners chose this story of found family to be the one he dictated to me to type up. It seems to me that family, biological or not, was a big motivator for my story partners to get there lives back on track. I felt like these similar experiences helped me understand more about the people I was sharing stories with, and a little more about myself as well.
Today, I was paired with the same person as last week but just by myself. What I noticed was that after I told my story, which was about falling on the school playground and hurting my knee, followed by my friend helping me, my story partner told me a very similar story of him falling and hurting his knee while playing football at school. He talked about how he and his friend got into a fight playing football and then later when he got hurt, his friend helped him and they made up. I found it interesting that both of our stories had to do with knee injuries while playing outside during school, and that both of our friends helped us. Both stories took place when we were in elementary school too. I think the effect of telling these stories was that it took us to a conversation about drifting apart from childhood friends and the power of friendship itself. For the second story, we each talked about our happy places being at home and spending time with family, especially watching movies and just hanging out.
When we didn’t talk about stories, we went on tangents about what we like to do with our families outside the home. My partner told me he and his family would go out to eat, go bowling, see movies, etc. I talked about how I liked going to the mall with my mom and sister. We also talked about riding bikes because that came up and we both acknowledged how scary it is to ride bikes downhill. And we bonded over being close with our sisters. I did notice that he was fidgeting again this session. He instinctively grabbed a nearby book at the desk and started flipping pages randomly, but I think this was just a way for him to focus on telling his story. It’s like an outlet like the way we play with stress toys for example. I noticed that it was a bit harder to carry the conversation by myself since I’m not very good at it, but I appreciated it when my partner did a lot of the talking answering my questions. He was also helpful retelling his favorite story so I could write it down on paper and listened to when I retold it to make sure it was accurate. At the end, I was happy when another person sitting at the same table reached out shook my hand, and then my story partner did too. It was a nice little farewell until next week.
In comparison to the first week, week two was significantly more smooth and organized. Walking into the detention center with a plan that we knew we would stick to made things much less stressful. I also enjoyed the fact that we were all in the same room for this week. For week one, it was a weird sense that the kids were extremely comfortable in the space since they live here but we had just visited for the first time and were uncomfortable. It made it that much worse when we split up and not only were in this place for the first time but also on our own. For week two, being together in a familiar room where we had been the previous week while also all being together made things much more relaxed.
One interesting thing I noticed was the kids’ relationships with the staff at the detention center. In conversation, they are typically friendly and lighthearted, joking with each other and being loose. However, this week while I was sharing stories with my partner he was laughing and he lightly backhanded the staff member on the arm as he was laughing. The staff member, who previously was also laughing, immediately became very serious and said, “What did I tell you about putting your hands on me.” It was weird to see that immediately flip of a switch and go from joking around to being dead serious.