As part of my Leadership 210 class, I had to complete 10 hours at the HJDC and therefore I had additional time spent as an individual with other students. The atmosphere was really different because we did not follow any specific guidelines, so we just spent time with them talking and drawing. Our conversations were ironically mostly about them asking questions about our experiences as college students and then us reflecting on our first year. They were mostly pointing out their similarities/differences. One of them shared how they had a different childhood growing up with not so much time and energy to spend on academics. Another one shared how they immigrated from Mexico and the challenges that they and their family faced. Overall, we ended up having nice discussions and I think they were more willing to share information because we did not come as “instructors” or from a “special programs” rather than students spending time with other students. The conversations were more natural.
Category: Experiential Reflections Page 1 of 5
It was an amazing opportunity to have them come to campus. Starting from the beginning, although I came late, the book arts studio was a fun experience. The guys at my table had creative minds, and my partner for the project, G, actively considered doing his own story into the booklet! Although he struggled a bit because of the sheer size of his story, he was really happy to see the completed result. I am excited for him and to see where he goes after he graduates with his GED and begins working with his dad, and I wish him the best.
The tour was a pretty fun experience, albeit we moved a lot faster than I was expecting. Sometimes they were not the most attentive group, but I could tell they were having fun. They made sure to take plenty of pictures, and they definitely wanted to see the Football field for the experience. I learned that one of the others in the group was considering applying to the University of Richmond for college with some plan for a background in business but was also interested in a lot of fields like the arts and history.
The rain was an unexpected agent, but it was nice to get a little bit of breathing room from the walking. Basketball was fun but I did not actively participate, but it was fun seeing them have fun on the campus. I also never knew we had a volleyball pit, and seeing one of the boys hop in for a game with the UR students already there was something that put a smile on my face.
Seeing the booklets reach completion was a satisfying feeling. and it was good to see them one more time. I’ve got high hopes for all of them.
The tour happened a lot smoother than I thought it would and I also enjoyed it a lot more too. I could tell that our story partners from the detention center were happy and excited to be on campus. Even just watching them take photos in front of Queally, the lake, and other places was heartwarming to watch. I think we take all of this for granted sometimes. It is such a beautiful campus, which is amplified by the fact that they are secluded in the same building for so long. Nowadays, I walk past the lake without much of a second glance, but I know it must have been breathtaking for them. I also noticed how engaged and interested they were in the Book Arts Studio making their booklets. I wasn’t sure if this would be something they’d enjoy, but it seemed like they genuinely did like the arts and crafts aspect of the activity. Plus, it gave them another chance to share their stories.
When we handed out the booklets of everyone’s stories, my story partner and another were looking through it and seemed proud of their own stories being inside it. I guess seeing it in such an official-looking document was a great feeling for them. It was nice to watch them play basketball and just be teenagers, which is also something I think we all take for granted. I had a conversation with one of them and he asked me what I was majoring in, and then I asked him what he’s interested in. He dove into a deep discussion about real estate and housing facts that I had a hard time following. But it gives me joy to know that he’s so passionate about something when I myself am having a hard time narrowing down my passions. It was surreal to see them on campus, but it was so nice watching them thrive in this new environment and it gives me hope for what comes next for them.
The fourth visit J and I discussed our favorite music. My partner liked rap which was reflected when he would sing out lyrics to teh sing from heart, and did so really well. Although we talked about music the most productive aspect fo conversation was on his artwork. Since the booklet idea was introduced to the class, I asked J if he enjoyed art. He told me about one of the paintings in the classroom that he painted. He painted a canvas of Mohammed Ali/or Mike Tyson winning a boxing match. The painting was incredible and he shared that he had another painting in progress. It was exciting to know he enjoyed art because of our plans to make the booklet.
This day was also the first time I shared my written copy of J’s story. Based off of his facial expressions and eagerness to listen carefully to his story he seemed to appreciate having his story told. He liked how I captured details of his story by showing and not telling. We made a few additions to the story but iverall he was very dedicated towards making his story as realistic and reflective of his past.
This last visit felt much more casual than the rest. Both myself and my partner were exhausted form the previous day and little sleep but were able to discuss for a bit about our favorite season. He shared that his favorite season was spring because it reminded him of baseball and being outside. We discussed the birds singing signaling that spring has come and both of our struggles with allergies.
My partner and I went over the first initial prompts quickly and then began to talk about college life. He was very excited to tour the campus. He was especially interested in the gym and basketball courts. We ended up talking about working out. Based off talking with J it seems that him and the other inmates enjoy taking care of themselves physically while at the detention center. J shared his favorite workout exercises, those being pushups pull-ups and sit ups. After sharing that I worked out in the gym he seemed interested. It had been awhile since he had used weights and machines. I felt like this conversation was a full circle moment from our first visit. Thats when Nick G. and I were with some of the detention center kids doing pushups and other exercises. Its awesome that J and the other juveniles take care of themselves physically even when they’re limited in what they can do throughout the day.
An interesting question that J asked me was “how did you guys from the outside think of us? Or at least something along those lines. This was a touching question because it shows that J understands the preconceived notion that anyone in a detention center is dangerous or strange or something along those lines. I told him that we thought it was a great opportunity to get to know him and his other peers in the detention center and that we loved getting to share stories and learn about each other.
The last visit to the detention center was definitely bittersweet. Looking back on this experience it’s evident how impactful it was for me. The opportunity to talk with people from different walks of life and hear how difficult their lives have been made me appreciate everything I have. When you go about your everyday normal life it’s easy to get wrapped up in your own world and issues, especially when those around you are dealing with similar things like school. However, talking with people outside of your usual bubble who are dealing with real hard-hitting issues like jail time, family issues, poverty, etc makes you take a step back and realize how good you have it. I will be forever grateful for the amazing life I have knowing how difficult others have it.
It also was impactful hearing how our time at the detention center really helped the kids. I never thought much about how such a simple thing as sharing stories could make a real impact. It felt almost surreal hearing them share what this process has done for them. It’s one thing to discuss how storytelling can connect people but it’s completely another one to actually go out, share those stories, and build a connection yourself. I never would have thought I could have a real relationship with an incarcerated 15-year-old kid from inner city Richmond but through sharing stories I was able to do just that.
Our group’s last day at the detention center was bittersweet, but I’m very grateful for the opportunity. When we went to the center, I was nervous and a little sad that it was ending. When we arrived, we got to bring our snacks as per usual, and the kids that we met with seemed very excited to be given chips. We put the chairs in a large circle like we usually do, but this time there were only boys who agreed to meet with us. I noticed that the girl I met with the previous two weeks was no longer at the center, and I remember how she told me that she was likely getting sent to an in-patient mental health center. Weirdly, I felt a little sad that I didn’t get to see her or say goodbye. It made me think of the way that Coogan must have felt when the men he talked to came and went.
The boy I paired with this week was younger, he was about 14. His story broke my heart. He explained how he had been at the center since he was 10 when he was charged with selling guns. He told me that he would be at the center until (at the very earliest) his 16th birthday. It really stuck with me. He also got emotional telling me that he hadn’t seen his baby sister since he was arrested. After we left the center, I became a little teary-eyed while telling my classmates about it.
Again, I want to stress how much I’ve loved this experience and I’m happy that I stuck with the class.
It was a bit saddening for it to be the last day meeting. The guy I was working with ended up passing his GED! It was so exciting to hear, and I was so happy for him because it was a significant step towards him stepping into a better place and advancing his interests. He is excited to start preparing for his driver’s test after he gets out. We talked about his plans, even the first meal he’ll have once he is out.
He seemed fairly content with his story. I told him that he could use it as something to draw back on if he ever finds himself struggling after his release. As we made it to the end and moved into Group Discussions, it was nice to see a more casual interaction. Favorite snacks, favorite sports, and a lot of other relaxing and casual conversation. Learning the stories of some of the other inmates was interesting, and it was also seeing a more casual side of him that was also exciting.
I may have heard all of the cliché sayings before, i.e. “this really gave me a different perspective,” “I feel like my voice is really heard,” “this gave me a chance to express myself,” “I feel heard,” etc. Although, because all these things have been hammered into my head to the point where I’ve dismissed them as cheesy or shallow, it really hit me when I heard several students at the detention center actually say them; it’s not fiction, it wasn’t provoked by an English teacher, it didn’t come from any ulterior motives, but it was genuine. And from this (and a combination of other things, such as mental health, self improvement, etc), I’ve learned to attempt to see past whatever preconceived notion of cliché-ness attached to anything I hear because I feel as though I’ve excused far too many things that have meant more than the letters that spell them out on paper.
Reading “Small Things Like These” was a book that made me understand more deeply the complexities of human relationships, societal expectations, and the often overlooked struggles of ordinary people. The narrative captured the essence of everyday life, highlighting moments of joy, sorrow, and resilience, something that I often struggle dealing with. Through the lens of Furlong’s experiences, I found myself reflecting on the intricate balance between duty and personal fulfillment, as well as the relentless pursuit of stability in an ever-changing world.
One of the aspects of the book that resonated with me the most was the portrayal of family dynamics and the sacrifices made by parents for the sake of their children’s well-being. Furlong’s internal struggles and his longing for something more beyond the monotony of his routine left a profound impact on me, making me to reflect on the meaning of contentment and the pursuit of happiness. Overall, “Small Things Like These” offered a mirror through which I could reflect on my own values, aspirations, and the significance of the small moments that shape our existence.