Author: Nicholas Gunn Page 1 of 3

The last visit to the detention center was definitely bittersweet. Looking back on this experience it’s evident how impactful it was for me. The opportunity to talk with people from different walks of life and hear how difficult their lives have been made me appreciate everything I have. When you go about your everyday normal life it’s easy to get wrapped up in your own world and issues, especially when those around you are dealing with similar things like school. However, talking with people outside of your usual bubble who are dealing with real hard-hitting issues like jail time, family issues, poverty, etc makes you take a step back and realize how good you have it. I will be forever grateful for the amazing life I have knowing how difficult others have it.

It also was impactful hearing how our time at the detention center really helped the kids. I never thought much about how such a simple thing as sharing stories could make a real impact. It felt almost surreal hearing them share what this process has done for them. It’s one thing to discuss how storytelling can connect people but it’s completely another one to actually go out, share those stories, and build a connection yourself. I never would have thought I could have a real relationship with an incarcerated 15-year-old kid from inner city Richmond but through sharing stories I was able to do just that.

This week my partner and I had a very casual conversation. We shared stories briefly about memories connected to music but then we carried the conversation into numerous other topics. We talked about music for a while and my partner told me how his favorite artists included Lil Durk, JCole, and Rod Wave. He mentioned how he loves lyricism in music which is why he loves JCole so much which I found interesting. We also talked about video games for a while and he told me how he loves to play Fortnite so we talked all about the different battlepasses. Although this can seem insignificant or stupid, it showed me how although we are so different we still can have many common interests. My one big takeaway from this conversation is how storytelling can sweep you away. As we were sharing stories and bonding over our love of music and video games, not once did I think about the fact that I was doing this for a class or that Quoron and I were so different. I didn’t think about the fact that I’m a college student at the University of Richmond and he is serving time in a detention center. We were just two people in that moment talking about random things and building a connection. 

In terms of his story, I gave it back for him to read to make sure I got everything right and he was satisfied with the story. I was a little surprised because his story is pretty short and I was assuming he’d want me to add some details here and there or fix a portion of the story. It was kind of anticlimactic because after he finished reading it he just handed it back and said “That’s perfect you nailed it.” I also made sure to tell him that he could always change his story (which is about him and his brothers fighting some kids from another hood at school) if he’d like but he was more than satisfied with the current one.

This week I was paired with the same person I was with last week, Quoron. Last week when we shared stories with the prompt “What would your perfect day look like?” Quoron’s answer included being in Beverly Hills in a huge mansion with girls around him while smoking a “jay”. When he gave me this answer, I thought it was funny but I also thought it was a sign of him not fully taking the story prompts seriously. I was a little concerned for the upcoming weeks because I knew the prompts would become more personal as we build relationships with the kids and I was worried he would disregard them and make a joke of them. However, I was thankfully proven wrong.

When Professor Dolson shared the prompt “What does your happiest moment look like?” Quoron’s answer caught me off guard completely. He said his happiest moment would be holding his newborn daughter and spending time with her. He then shared how his daughter was born while he was locked up and he hasn’t been able to see her yet, and all he wants is to be with her. I was taken aback by the maturity and sincerity of this answer, especially considering his previous answers to the prompts. I then asked him what it’s like to be a father and know you brought a child into this world and his face immediately lit up with a smile. We then went on about how we both wanted to be good fathers and be there for our kids. It was a wholesome conversation that I completely was not expecting to have which made it even better.

In comparison to the first week, week two was significantly more smooth and organized. Walking into the detention center with a plan that we knew we would stick to made things much less stressful. I also enjoyed the fact that we were all in the same room for this week. For week one, it was a weird sense that the kids were extremely comfortable in the space since they live here but we had just visited for the first time and were uncomfortable. It made it that much worse when we split up and not only were in this place for the first time but also on our own. For week two, being together in a familiar room where we had been the previous week while also all being together made things much more relaxed.

One interesting thing I noticed was the kids’ relationships with the staff at the detention center. In conversation, they are typically friendly and lighthearted, joking with each other and being loose. However, this week while I was sharing stories with my partner he was laughing and he lightly backhanded the staff member on the arm as he was laughing. The staff member, who previously was also laughing, immediately became very serious and said, “What did I tell you about putting your hands on me.” It was weird to see that immediately flip of a switch and go from joking around to being dead serious.

Going into this experience, I tried to keep an open mind and not have any expectations as to what it would be like. Although I feel I accomplished this, it was still much different than I could’ve imagined. Despite not going in with any expectations, I did have this idea in the back of my mind that it would be all of us in one room, conducting storytelling activities with the kids in a very controlled environment. To my surprise, it turned out to be the complete opposite. When we got there and started to be split up, I could feel myself getting a bit anxious. It quickly went from Professor Dolson controlling the situation and conducting these activities, to each of us individually being thrown into the fire and having to conduct it ourselves. Although this was so different from what myself, and I think all of us were expecting, I think it overall went well.

For my group, I tried to keep things very casual and just get to know the kids on a base level. We went around and introduced ourselves, our names, where we are from, and a few fun facts about us or hobbies we have. To my surprise, two of the three guys in my group were super interested in cooking which I found to be interesting. I then gave a brief synopsis of what our class was like first semester and how that connects to what we are doing now. The kids, in all honesty, seemed pretty indifferent to the idea but if I were in their shoes, I would likely feel the same. For my group, and from what I’ve heard from other people on the bus ride back, it seemed like just another class for them, a task to get through. I think I had this perception that the detention center would be more of a typical jail and that this activity could be something to look forward to each Friday. However, it just seemed to be the next thing on the schedule. For my group, they seemed more excited by the gym time they had the following period.

One thing I did notice was the tight relationships all of the kids had to the staff at the detention center. They viewed them as friends and mentors, not as people keeping them from leaving this place. Hearing the banter back and forth between the kids and the staff was entertaining and showed how their relationship was both respectful but also loose and friendly.

For the second half of the time with my group, we got to go to the gym and play basketball. I think this was super effective in breaking down this barrier between us and becoming more casual with the kids. They all were impressed with my jumpshot too so that was a plus.

Overall, although the first week was nothing like I was expecting, I think it went about as well as it could have given the circumstances. The whole point of the first week was to meet the kids and start building a relationship with them so they would feel more comfortable sharing stories with us in the future. I think I accomplished this with my group, although not by the means I had anticipated.