we are made of stories

Month: September 2023 Page 10 of 14

Prep Note 9/12

After finishing the second half of Writing Our Way Out, I was glad to know that the men who shared their stories were able to begin “normal” lives after being incarcerated. I realize though that their normal is going to be different from my definition of normal and to them it most likely isn’t actually normal to them because of how we learned how early on in their lives they were hurt. Seeing how many of them gained a new outlet to motivate them and to keep them going, whether that was family or religion was comforting. This hard wired way of thinking was so unfortunate to see but knowing they didn’t realize how bad it was until they had physical copies of their stories on paper; seeing how this opportunity helped them reconcile with their pasts was very motivating. I understand how different it is to have a physical thing, for example their story on paper rather than in their mind. It was unfortunate to hear about the men who got arrested again, although I understand that there is no perfect rehabilitation for everyone. In some cases the word rehabilitation itself doesn’t quite fit for someone because that implies that, as I stated earlier, they were “normal” and it isn’t their fault but that’s just all they know and have known. This book reinforced my understanding that incarcerated people are still people. I was lucky enough to have a teacher in high school who shared this same idea and shared that with my class. 

I feel that Naji’s story was one that I connected with because of how it involves his grandparents and how different his relationship with his grandmother is from mine. He had to live with his grandparents because his mother died unexpectedly when he was young and he never knew his father. His grandparents physically abused him and his brother, especially his grandmother. This caused him to seek love and acceptance throughout his life, which might have led him to do irresponsible things. This caused him to begin to use drugs and in order to obtain these drugs he had to steal. It also conditioned him into a life of hate especially toward white people, and it was only emphasized with every racist comment and encounter he grew up with.  Although after being incarcerated he started to read and learn. It was around this time when he was introduced to the Nation of Islam. This changed his views on the world and began to heal the hatred that he had in his heart. When he heard that the first man on earth was black he changed his name from James Canady to Naji Faruk Mujahid. After he was let out of prison he learned that his grandmother had Alzheimer’s disease and couldn’t remember the abuse that she put him and his brother through. This caused him to have to take care of her and he did, even though he knew she couldn’t apologize for what she did. Both sharing his story in Coogan’s collection and his Muslim faith helped him on a path to restarting his life.

Prep 9/12

I wasn’t ready for it to be over.

If I love the book I’m reading, I won’t allow it to end. In my head, the characters will keep having adventures long after I’ve finished reading, because it always hits me hard when things change. I don’t like the idea of things ending.

The second half of the book was equally hard-hitting as the first half, but for different reasons. By the halfway point, I had become not exactly desensitized, but maybe used to the gut-wrenching situations in which these men lived. But I had also formed a connection with each of them – I felt like I knew them, a little bit. And then the stories started becoming darker, more serious, more illegal, more dangerous. And it made me feel something, to be completely powerless to do anything, or even mean anything, in their story. I don’t ever feel that way when I’m reading fiction. I guess it’s just different when I know it’s real.

I waited with a mix of morbid curiosity and dread for their crimes to be revealed. And when they were, I felt mixed emotions. First, relief: I was glad that none of them were serial killers. Second, a different kind of relief: the knowledge that their arrests would eventually lead them to the prison chapel with Dr. Coogan, and their lives would change for the better. And third, a kind of dread: the looming threat of their impending release or transfer – that either way, their involvement in the project was about to end. And I don’t like things ending.

I don’t like things ending, but I think I’d rather read a happily-ever-after than watch characters – people – drift apart due to time and circumstance. The first nine chapters of the book followed a fairly straightforward format: Dr. Coogan meets with the men in the jail, and they write, discuss, and discover things about themselves and each other, forming bonds with each other and with Dr. Coogan. The second half of the book couldn’t follow that format, because the real world wasn’t content to let the story play out without interference. People transferred, people stopped writing, and eventually, the project became something very different than it had been in the early days. I wonder if that change in and of itself could be seen as a representation of the injustice of the justice system – it takes a good possibility (rehabilitation), and prevents it from happening easily or in its own due course. But the book, and all the stories, eventually were published. So in the metaphor, rehabilitation could technically be possible, although not easy or natural, in the current system (which, of course, is more focused on locking people up than letting them learn/grow).

It was hard to watch some things end unhappily , although I guess that’s just how life goes sometimes. There’s a reason a happily-ever-after is called a fairytale ending.

Prep Note for 9/12/23

After finishing “Writing Our Way Out”, I can sincerely say that I’m happy that we read this book for class. I was hesitant about it at first, but after getting further into the story it was almost impossible to put down. The authors became great storytellers, and it was interesting to see how they progressed throughout the book. One of the authors whose story caught my eye was Naji Mujahid.  His story spoke to me the most, and I was happy to see how far he had come by the end of his story.

Naji was a child when he and his brother found their mother dead. It was heartbreaking for him, and he remembers her funeral in detail. After the death of his mother, he was sent to live with his grandmother since he didn’t know who his father was. Nani’s grandmother was extremely abusive and treated Naji horribly. He was told that if he reported her behavior it would only get worse. He tried to get away but the system failed him and he was always returned to his grandmother. He caved love and attention, and he went looking for it in the wrong places. Eventually, he found the love and happiness he craved, but the problem was that he found these feelings in cocaine.

Naji is sent to jail for breaking and entering while trying to fund his drug habits. He just wanted to fit in after being physically and emotionally abused for his whole life. He’s in prison and considering suicide, but instead, he makes a commitment to learning. He joins the Nation of Islam and eventually becomes a part of the 5% Nation. He becomes arrogant and argues with those who aren’t a part of the 5% Nation. Eventually, he starts to become disenfranchised with the group and decides to borrow a Qur’an from a fellow inmate. He reads it and it changes his life forever. He left the 5% Nation and converted to Islam. He changes his name to Naji Mujahid to further distance himself from his past.

He’s released from prison and starts to care for his grandmother, despite everything she put him through. His new-found religion allows him to forgive her and work towards peace within himself. He struggles with his faith but eventually is released and starts his life again. He has brief legal troubles due to a weed-related charge, but he wants a better life for himself. He found writing therapeutic, and it helped him come to terms with many of the things he went through. I loved reading about his ups and downs, and I felt honored to be able to read his story. He wasn’t perfect, but I still believe that his story is inspiring.

Prep Notes – 9/12/23

After finishing “Writing Our Way Out,” I feel more aware of the reality behind the justice system. It’s easy for us to label people in jail as just criminals. It’s easy to assume these people are nothing more than the crimes they committed and not dig any deeper than the surface level. Very rarely do we dive into the circumstances and backstories of these individuals and truly ask “Why?”. The beauty of “Writing Our Way Out,” is that it does just that, forces us to dive into the backstories of these imprisoned men and see them as complete human beings and not just their actions.

I was happy to see that many of the men who participated in the writing program ended up turning their lives around after being released. One theme I saw that all these reformed men possessed was something to keep them motivated. For many of them, that was religion or their families. It’s no coincidence that the men who most successfully reformed were the ones who were most motivated and grounded by something bigger than themselves. Not only were they turning their lives around for themselves, but for God or their families. I also was happy to see that the writing of their stories did the intended job of helping them to reflect on and reconcile with their pasts. Sometimes we can be confused by our own thoughts and until we really lay out everything into words or writing it is difficult to see and accept the reality of the past.

The story that definitely impacted me the most was Naji’s. At a young age, Naji’s father was never present in his life, and then his mother passed away unexpectedly. As a result, Naji went to live with his grandparents. Instead of cherishing what little piece of their daughter they still had left, her kids, Naji’s grandmother tormented and abused them mercilessly. She would become outraged and any small mistake and beat them as punishment. This constant abuse and feeling of not having a true home led Naji down a path of drug use to escape. He then began stealing to sustain this habit and eventually was incarcerated. While incarcerated, however, he began to try and educate himself. He discovered the Nation of Islam and became infatuated with it, especially the fact that the first man on earth was black. Eventually, he was finally released and he learned of his grandmother’s Alzheimer’s. She had forgotten the years of abuse she inflicted upon Naji and his brother. He still took care of her and continued rebuilding his life. The combination of the things he learned while studying the Muslim faith and Dr. Coogan’s writing class helped him to reflect on and re-evaluate his life. This story was so tragic to hear because of how my grandmother was so different from Naji’s. My grandmother was always so supportive and loved us unconditionally. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to experience such traumatic abuse from a family member. This also overall just made me reflect on how lucky I am to have the family I do and the positive environment I have grown up in. I was thankful before, but hearing what these men went through put things into a whole different perspective.

Prep Note 9/12

The second half of “Writing Our Way Out” was just as emotional of a reading experience as the first, with the conclusion of the men’s journeys and their alter views on life post-incarceration lending a sense of hope and optimism to the end of the book. Because of this, or maybe in spite of it, the story that struck me the most was Andre’s.

Andre’s story starts with his father getting him addicted to heroin when he was just twelve years old. To feed his addiction, he becomes a dealer, while also getting his friends and the people close to him addicted, just as his father did to him. He loses one of his best friends to a shooting, before getting shot himself by angry users looking for Andre’s friend, a fellow dealer. When Andre’s eighteen, he gets arrested for dealing drugs. In prison, he goes through intense withdraws, but comes out on the other side with a more positive outlook on life. During his imprisonment, he gets his GED and becomes certified as a graphic designer and as a data entry clerk.

Once released from prison, Andre’s strained relationship with his father leads him to relapse on heroin, subsequently ruining most of his personal relationships. However, he sees that a change needs to be made within himself, and he signs up for a rehabilitation program. The program helps him stay clean while he is living in the program’s house, but he is kicked out of the house following another relapse. This failure motivates him to quit again, and he becomes a salesman, though he does still sell drugs on the side, albeit without using them himself. Unfortunately, Andre is sent back to prison for the last time with numerous charges, all coming from his involvement with an armed robbery. The catch is, Andre was never a part of the robbery, he was just getting a ride with some of his friends after they had already committed the crime, and he had no idea it had occurred. His arrest was accompanied by heavy police brutality, sexual assault, and an all around failure of the justice system.

Andre wins his trials (three of them) and is released for the final time. The story ends on a sad note though, as Andre is seen robbing a convenance store, leading to a police chase. A police chase that ends with a fatal car crash taking Andre’s life. This is the event Dr. Coogan is talking with Kelvin about in the book’s opening chapter.

The most impactful thing about Andre’s story is the fact that it didn’t come to a happy conclusion. All the other guys’ stories are full of hope for the future and determination to change their lives and the lives of others. Andre never has a chance at that. His story ends too soon, but it’s clear from his writing leading up to the fatal accident that he was making a real effort to change, an effort which makes his tragic death all the more painful.

Prep Note 9/12

Overall, I found the rest of this book to be very eye-opening and offer different perspectives on the justice system that has impacted so many people’s lives. After finding out the crimes people committed, and later incarcerated for, it did not change my point of view or beliefs about any of the men. Even though they did commit those crimes, many of them faced so many challenges and hardships that almost explain their actions. Granted, many of them landed in jail because of drug use and drug dealing, but is it really their choice when they began doing drugs before the age of 10? That is a question I have had to grapple with while reading this story. One of the men says that without heroin he couldn’t live his life normally; he couldn’t work, eat, or even hang with friends because he did not know how to function without drugs. This stayed with me I think because knowing about these stories and how many people did not have family to turn to, or pushed their loved ones away, and consequently ended up in prison. (I think it was Bradley that actually turned himself in.) 

One theme I noticed throughout this novel was the emphasis on God and religion, and how many of the men turned to faith after being incarcerated. They didn’t have faith in the justice system or any system that could help make their lives better by getting them out of abusive situations, so they turned to a higher power that they believed could help them. This is something I want to explore more in my critical analysis paper because I find it interesting how one person’s ideology can change the course of their life. 

The story I decided to focus on for this week was Stan’s. There was something that interested me about him from the beginning. He started out very early in his life and described what it was like to be in his mother’s womb. By this time, he had already felt the tension between his parents, without even having met them yet. The next time he writes, he talks about his relationship with his dad and how they used to get hot dogs because he loved them. Stan’s dad loved baseball, but Stan excelled at football. Later in life when his parents separated, Stan moved to a small one-bedroom apartment with his father. He doesn’t touch much on his teenage years but ultimately conveys to the reader that he lived alone as a teenage boy. This led him to go out on the streets and watch the prostitutes that passed by, even though he couldn’t afford their service. One night, he met a woman named Carolyn and they formed an intimate relationship but she wouldn’t let him kiss her. He recounts this to the group and they laugh about it. A few years Stan gets caught in a crime, one he (maybe) didn’t commit. He flees for a job in Florida and joins a sales team. He emphasizes the impact that Carolyn had on his confidence and maturation. Stan then moves on to talk about his life in jail and how he grapples with the change. An important part of his journey was led by God and Stan’s unwavering belief in God’s love. Stan talks about his adoption, the challenges he has faced, and the work he needs to put in order to live a successful life. One thing I noticed was that Stan does not want to be labeled as a “product of his environment.” Stan ends his portion of the memoir obviously changed than when he began. I think the reader can appreciate this because positive change is important in a situation like this.

website and podcast for Writing Our Way Out

You might like to check out the website for Coogan’s project: https://writingourwayout.com/mission/

Notice the podcast.

Prep Note 9/12/23

While reading the latter part of “Writing Our Way Out,” I was happy to find out that these men were mostly able to reclaim their lives after incarceration. I liked that many of them found some sort of outlet or motivational factor to keep them going, such as religion or knowing that their family needed them. I was also happy to read that writing their stories helped them reconcile with their pasts. Some of them believed that their way of thinking back then was twisted, which they didn’t realize until they had physically written down their stories on paper. However, I was sad when I found out that some of the men were re-arrested. It’s important to know that progress isn’t linear. It ebbs and flows and that’s just how life is sometimes. I was extremely saddened to find out that Andre was killed due to his involvement in a robbery after he had just worked so hard to get acquitted on three trials. Most of all, I learned to view prisoners as humans with stories while I was reading this book. Sometimes, I found myself in disbelief that these stories I was reading were real. I think it will start to feel more real when we are visited by David Coogan and some of the ex-offenders in class. I think it will be a surreal experience meeting them in person, but I am still very excited to hear what they have to say.

I have decided to focus on Naji’s story in particular because some of the events that happened in his life were so profound that they just stuck with me. When he was young, his mother died unexpectedly and he never knew his father. He ended up living with his grandparents, who inflicted physical abuse on him and his brother. His grandmother was emphasized as the main abuser. This caused him to seek love and acceptance throughout his life, which might have led him to do irresponsible things. He started to use drugs and steal to sustain his drug habits, all to distract from his abusive home life. While he was incarcerated, he began to educate himself. All his life, he had learned to hate white people due to racist experiences growing up. When he was introduced to the Nation of Islam, he started seeing the world through new eyes upon discovering that the first man on earth was Black. He even changed his name from James Canady to Naji Faruk Mujahid because it was more fitting to who he was becoming. After he was released, he discovered that his grandmother had Alzheimer’s and that she didn’t remember any of the abuse she subjected to him. He took care of her regardless and became more responsible with his life. Although he didn’t focus as much as he intended on his religion, learning about the Muslim faith was a large factor in rebuilding his life. Writing through Dr. Coogan’s project was also a major contributor because it helped him analyze his life through a new lens.

prep note 9/7

This book was a product when David Coogan started a writing workshop at a jail to raise awareness in the city about prisoner reentry. Before reading, I thought the book was about prisoners’ remorse for their crimes or their life in prison, but after reading, I realized that the actual content is more profound than I expected. The authors of this book were seeking answers, solutions and means to crab the cycle of dysfunction not only in their lives, but also in society.  The book gave me an opportunity to think about how different environments influenced and shaped people.

 

I was impressed by one of the chapter that Andre wrote. When his dad started feeding him heroin, his mother known that but didn’t say nothing.  David Coogan talked about a memory when he was at the similar age. He rolled a piece of paper into a pretended cigarette, then his mother ask if he thought smoking was cool. The intervention was the difference. David Coogan’s mother was right there to show his the right way. An important reason why these prisoners commit crimes might be the lack of positive guidance when they grew up.

 

“We would write hopefully, and with the intent of steering the ongoing process of becoming who we are, not only for ourselves, but for the greater good.” I once saw a talk on television about a dilemma that journalists often faced. If a journalist reports the real experience of a person, it can raise public awareness of the dark side of society. However, the risk to the person involved is high, because the people who have hurt him may see this report and retaliate against him. I’m wondering, will there be potential risk for them when prisoners wrote their experience to the public?

Response to Daily Class Notes 9/7/23

Response to class notes from 9/7

 

We focused mainly on the book “Writing Our Way Out” by David Coogan and the incarcerated men he worked with. We discussed how impactful the book was, not only as a piece of literature, but as an example of how storytelling can both educational and empowering, which I believe is an important focus of this class.

We talked about how important the structure of the book was to its meaning, discussing how splitting up the different men’s narratives not only made it easier to compare the different stories, but also showed how each writer was developing and becoming more open over time.

I think the idea we briefly touched on about nobody being completely objective is a really interesting one. I think it’s important to understand that it’s impossible to completely remove the biases and preconceptions we’ve developed as a part of our culture and upbringing. This is neither a negative or positive thing, in fact, I think that by analyzing someone’s existing preconceptions, one can learn a lot about who they are and what their life is like.

I also enjoyed the metaphor of the telephone game that Professor Dolson brought up when we were talking about the accuracy of the quotes in the book. When we played the game, the original message got distorted so it ended up being a little different from when Ana first came up with her sentence. This is similar to how the quotes in the book might not be exactly accurate to what the writers said. The sentences might have been distorted and altered in David Coogan’s mind, not by other people, but by time.

I think Nick G. made a really good point when we were discussing the importance of including the dates of the project in the introduction of the book. Nick said that the inclusion of the dates helped ground the book in realism and it made the stories inside feel more authentic and impactful.

We also talked out how important it was that both David Coogan and the reader are unaware of the men’s convictions until later in their stories. This is a good way to circumvent the potential biases we might have about the men based on their crimes.

For our upcoming writing assignment, I think the metaphor of the compost heap is a really helpful one. The idea that we’re taking quotes from the book and using them as “kitchen scraps” to then dive into the smaller details of  the text is a really strong visual.

Overall, I think this was a very productive class period. The ideas we formed and the conversations we had about “Writing Our Way Out” were very thoughtful and I really enjoyed thinking about the ways in which the book affected us.

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