Terence’s Story

  • 145-148
    • Unsure of his mother’s love for him, comes home after having paint spilled on him to no one’s home, mother goes to school and confronts them. Eventually, his mom moved him to a better school. Talks about being beaten, and was conflicted because he wanted to know he was loved. Refused to be walked over, pushed around, did not like authority. 
    • Had a teacher mentor him (Mr. Mattox), a couple more teachers mentored him too but Mattox had the biggest impact. Was the father figure he never had. 
  • 185-188
    • Started smoking weed as a teen in order to escape his reality and to be cool. He lacked direction and wanted to fit in.  Despite his disdain for authority he then joined the military and got addicted to harder drugs (cocaine). 
    • He then has a child, this pushes him to better himself so he goes to college, but then drops out due to his drug abuse. He’s not struggling mentally and resorts to doing crack-cocaine.
  • 194-195
    • Story of heading into prison. Looking back at his life, how was in college and planning to be a lawyer. Chained up with twenty men around him, discussing the emotions of anger, hurt, regret, etc. 
    • Discussed the way that he truly grew and became an “alpha male” (based on his being raised in femininity) is to know you are strong, week, caring, and sharing, which is “our true dominion” 
  • 233
    • In Terence’s final message he focuses on his mother and her perspective of him, and how she is disappointed by his past (getting married young and going to jail), yet supportive of how he tries to change and grow. He still believes he acts as a child, and this is further emphasized by his love for his mother, which hasn’t waned since he was a boy.

Themes: 

  1. Relationship with his mother 
    1. “Her intent was forthcoming, but her words and actions only created questions for me, none greater than the question of mother’s love: was it there for me?” (145). 
    2. “It was just recently I learned for the first time what my mother thinks about many of my choices in life, from the early age of fifteen up until my return home from prison four months ago” (233). 
  2. Substance Abuse
    1. “You never think about where life is taking you through your usage of drugs. They always provide an escape. It’s only when they create a problem in your life that you are aware of their adverse effects” (185)
    2. “He is barely getting along. I’m on the verge of losing everything.” (187)
  3. Perseverance and Regret
    1. “America is the land of second chances, but then when we come home — ‘Have you ever been convicted of a felony?’ These are forms we need to fill out to even get licensed to do certain things.” 
    2. “Every time you compromise something inside you, your spirit dies. Will I say all was bad? The answer is no. Learning to bond and make friends was just as important” (194).