The first meeting

On the way to Bon Air, I was really nervous.  I thought that I wouldn’t connect to anyone, know what to say, or have anyone even want to be my partner.  When I got there I was surprised at how easy it was to just be friendly.  I smiled and said hey to people as they walked in the door and they returned my greeting with enthusiasm, which surprised me because I was expecting tight lipped boys.  I theorized that because the guards treat them more humanely now, the boys aren’t afraid to express themselves and feel more comfortable talking and contributing to a conversation.  Before, if they were constantly oppressed and made to be silent it might be hard for them to break out of their comfort zone and contribute, but with the changes, it seems like communication is just second nature to them.  I really liked how there was structure at first because it made the conversation flow pretty easily.  The boys were really willing to talk once we got into smaller groups.  When Sage finally came after his government meeting, he said that he would rather get to know one mentor better instead of being in a group with Trevor and Dezavier, so we branched off.  He wasn’t interested in playing catch up on the poem and just really wanted to talk.  When I asked about student government, he was really proud of himself for being one of ten selected.  He told me he was picked because he was a model citizen, and now he gets to help make positive changes in Bon Air.  The changes can be small like get better soap to much larger issues like how inmates can register to vote.  He made it clear that all issues were important to him and he really cared about helping because he is a good kid.  He told me he was up for early release next month after two years of being there and wanted to work for a broadcasting company in Charlottesville that owned a lot of different stations.  When I told him my dad used to work in radio a long time ago, he wanted to ask if he was a reporter but felt very timid doing so.  He said that he knows he just met me but if he doesn’t mind me asking and it’s okay if I don’t feel comfortable answering but was my dad a reporter.  The question was so innocent yet he felt so afraid to ask it.  He also kept calling me mam even though I’m only three years older than him.  I told him he didn’t need to call me that because I was his age.  I wish that he would view me less as an authority and more as a friend.  I feel like once he starts viewing me as his equal he will be much more comfortable asking me questions and sharing a side of himself that isn’t so ‘perfect model citizen’ because I definitely have a side like that too.  No one is perfect and it makes no sense to pretend like you are.  Sage said that addressing superiors respectfully was a habit that he was used to because in prison the boys are the lowest men on the totem pole and have to show respect to everyone.  When I asked if it was hard to live that way he just said that humans naturally adapt so it wasn’t so bad anymore. Overall, it was a really positive experience and I can’t wait until next time we go back.  One suggestion I have is to use sticky name tags next time because Sage couldn’t remember my name very well.