Why being gay falls out of the manbox

Many gay men fall outside of the manbox because they may not behave like a typical man. As we discussed in a previous class, any trait that fall inside the womanbox falls outside of the manbox. Some men choose to embrace their femininity. These men may display traits that are viewed as falling inside the womanbox. Even if they are not “out” any feminine trait will push them out of the manbox. In the story from NPR one man said that he is emotional and the inflection of his voice is more feminine. He would not be inside the manbox for these behaviors. Other feminine behaviors may be seen in the way some gay men choose to dress themselves or the way they walk.

Other gay men may not necessarily perform any feminine behaviors but they fall outside of the manbox because the manbox is based on many heteronormative values. Heteronormativity is the idea or belief that it is normal for a person’s sexual desire to be based on their sex and gender. Women are supposed to be attracted to men and men to women. Therefore, anyone who does not identify as straight falls outside of the norm. Gay men can certainly have traits that fall into the man box. Some gay men are headstrong, aggressive, strong. They may hide their emotions and dress in “manly” clothing. In this case these men wouldn’t fall outside the manbox unless you knew they were gay. I don’t think the manbox should be based on heteronormativity because we know that gender isn’t necessarily related to sex and sexual desires aren’t based off of one’s gender and sex. As the NPR story highlighted, masculinity is a spectrum. There are many shades of masculinity and also of femininity. The manbox can include behaviors that are traditionally viewed as feminine.