Why Being Gay is Considered Outside the ManBox

In the eyes of society, to be gay or to like someone of the same sex is to assume the role of the opposite sex. The ideas of companionship, relationships, marriage, couples, etc… always involve a man and a women, we see this as the norm and also supported in mainstream media. For society, in order for these relations to work, there must be someone playing the female role and the male role. For many, it is difficult to see a functioning relationship, or marriage or anything of that nature without the making of a man and a woman. For this reason, when gays are together, there is almost always the assumption that one person must act as a female and the other as a male. Because sexuality is associated with two sexes and not just one, we put people into either of the two gender boxes.

Being a gay man in particular, which is not exactly the norm in today’s society is outside of the man box because it does not fit the definition of  a man. Things that do not fit in the box, contradict or pollute our socially constructed theory of what a man is. Our ideas of gays, which oppose the norm, are not in line with our ideas of men, but are in fact more in line with our ideas of women. If one can recall, the things found outside the Manbox are often found inside the Womanbox. Our ideas healthy intimate relationships involve two choices. There is indeed no happy medium. Either you are or you aren’t. As evidenced by the article, “In Changing America, Gay Masculinity Has ‘Many Different Shades'” gay men feel this pressure. They feel compelled to change their entire livelihood based off of their sexual orientation This pressure is all due to the socially constructed ideas surrounding gender, roles, and relationships and our extremely slow-to-change definition of a man.

-J.E.

Article link: http://www.npr.org/2014/08/22/339831032/in-changing-america-gay-masculinity-has-many-different-shades