For males in the Terman study, divorced men were outlived by steadily married men, steadily single men, and remarried men. However, women in the Terman study who had been divorced lived nearly as long as those who have been married steadily. It is a surprising finding that divorce was much less harmful to women’s well-being than it was to men’s health. Conventionally, it is thought that there would be a larger social and economic pressure on women after divorce. And divorce could be especially harmful to women. But the finding seems to tell the opposite.
I believed that the family atmosphere in which one grew up is crucial to one’s marriage. Those who grew up in steadily married families are more likely to have steady marriages themselves. But finding suggests that personality prior to marriage can be a better predictor of one’s success or failure at marriage. It was not the marriage by itself influence the long-term health of Terman participants, but the combination and interplay of their personalities and many other factors.
When considering marital satisfaction, there are some realms especially important for wives. How well mated sexually with husbands is one of the important realms. Women who had high-quality sexual lives outlived their less fulfilled peers. But the reason behind this finding is still unknown due to limited scientific information on sexual satisfaction and long-term health.
What intrigues me about the findings is that Terman’s study focuses entirely on monogamous heterosexual relationships. I wished they had the opportunity to delve into other possible relationship dynamics and how such dynamics would shape one’s longevity. For example, the question of same sex marriages is one to consider. Also how this would or would not translate to long standing pre-marital relationships (i.e.: boyfriend/girlfriend) or possibly how polyamorous relationships plays a role in this. Another facet I am interested in is the effect of “good”/”bad” affairs on longevity. There are just so many questions that I am interested in knowing the answer to but unfortunately the sample is often limited to very conventional subjects.
I like how you pointed out that it was not marriage that predicted long life, but the interplay of individual personalities. It was interesting that the book pointed out that those who tended to stay in steady marriages were conscientious and easy to get along with growing up. Although the book is broken up into separate chapters, it seems as though each chapter is not fragmented at all– a lot of the predictors of long life seem to connect back to personality and background history. I like the wholistic approach that the book has when analyzing longevity.
I also thought that divorce would negatively impact women significantly more than men, especially during the early 20th century, but I guess we thought wrong! I’m glad that personality is a good predictor of of a successful marriage. That gives hope for those who had divorced parents. I also thought it was funny that women who had high-quality sexual lives outlived their less fulfilled peers, even though there are limited findings. Though I know good sexual relationships are important in a marriage, it makes me wonder if just that important in the grand scheme of choosing a partner. There are so may other variables to consider, and I don’t think that sexual relationships are a strong indicator of a happy marriage.