We’re always told that sociability is a good trait to have. The world caters towards extroverts. Susan Cain’s novel Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking, points out the different attributes that introverts have that are beneficial and powerful in their own way. As I mentioned in my previous blog posts, I was a painfully shy child. By the age of 5 or 6, most kids are interested in others and are able to make friends out of the most trivial situations. All one had to do was ask during recess if Rebecca wanted to play with her and alas, they were best friends!
This isn’t to say that I was lonely as a child; I had friends, but was not able to make them as easily as other kids. To this day I still don’t know exactly what accounted for my shyness, but I’m inclined to believe it’s a genetic trait. My sister is also shy, but I’ve found that we differ now compared to when we were children. I grew out of my shyness because I went away for college (I never lived away from home, and my parents were always by my side) whereas my sister commutes to college from home. My experiences have shaped my current personality, which I would describe as a mild social butterfly. I love meeting people who share similar interests and experiences as me, but don’t feel compelled to be the person who knows every single person when I walk into a room. The nature vs nurture model perfectly explains the person I have become– both the environment and genetics determine personality, and personality is changeable. It’s up to you to mold your circumstances around the person you want to be.
It’s important to raise the point that sociability on its own is not a predictor for living a long life. Friedman and Martin make it clear that there are a variety of other factors that determine longevity such as social groups one associates with and peer pressure. Those who are social tend to have a higher likelihood of experimenting with alcohol and drugs. However, someone who is not as social can have a few friends they are close with who fulfill their needs. These strong social bonds are what positively contributes to living a healthier, longer life.
I agree that introvert’s attributes are beneficial to the world in their own way. I also was a shy as well as quiet during by childhood, so I can relate to what you are saying. The nature vs nature model, I believe is a good example for many introverts because new situations and different environments over time can help can increase their sociability. I still have an introverted personality, but have become more sociable over the years. The chapter even gives an example of a person who grow out of their shyness. This shows that sociably can change and being social or not does not make a difference in longevity. I also agree that, “strong social bonds are what positively contributes to living a healthier, longer life”.