One of the reasons I chose Richmond was their advertised programs that involved community service. I spent all my high school years volunteering with the boys & Girls Club then spent my last summer as Youth Development Professional working 40 hour work weeks with the kids. I wanted to be surrounded with the people who also valued community service as much as I did.  When I came on campus, however, it didn’t really seem as involved as I imagined. Early on, though, I came across YouthLife and have since volunteered there twice a week, mentoring “at-risk youth.” Community service has been a passion of mine as I see the lessons and growth I have experienced.

Going to 6PIC reminded me a lot of going to the Boys & Girls Club everyday after school. Loving staff who aren’t there for the money rather for bettering the kids’ lives. Many of my mentors came from the Boys & Girls Club as they showed me such compassion and care for what they do. Presenting our projects encompassed our class as the space welcomes kids of any background and provided us with a great experience to get out of the bubble.

The points brought up by the volunteers at 6PIC added much value to our presentations and made me think more about my project. Something about the space made me feel more confident in standing up there to present. The feedback I was given standing up there made me realize how unique yet understated of a story I may have and that sharing it could resonate with many. It may be an identity that many people struggle with on a daily basis, so I feel like sharing my project could show that they’re not the only ones 🙂

 

I went to a high school with no sports so I was clueless on the absolute grind the life of a student athlete is, even on a high school level. Within weeks of coming here, however, I became aware of exactly how difficult the life of the student athlete can be. Unfortunately student athletes have the reputation of having everything handed to them – they get all this expensive gear for free, get the “easy” classes, and free travel. This documentary really pinpointed how college athletics is a machine, “a farm for the NFL,” leading to me think of my experiences with student athletes the far.

The economic injustices presented in the NCAA was jarring.  On CBS, some of  them live below the poverty line even though the sport they are playing in makes their college millions of millions of dollars. This is another form of a power system in which, as Bob Orr expressed in the radio show, “you keep the players poor, you keep the players powerless. They can’t have agents, they can’t have representatives, all part of the university and the NCAA having control over the product and making sure the players – the ones making all the money – get as little as possible from it.” Being a college athlete is sought as desirable, the recruiters make you want to go there, be part of this bigger entity. Then you get there, and you are drilled thin. You wake up, lift, go to class, go to practice, homework, sleep repeat. It is a machine in which doesn’t produce people it produces these tired individuals put through the ringer. For what?

The discussion with the NCAA president reminded me of the white savior myth Sonia discussed in her final project. He said “we provide them with remarkable opportunities to get an education at the finest universities on earth… To gain access to the best coaches and the best trainers to develop their skills and abilities. So if they have the potential, that small proportion to go on and play in professional sports, we’re helping them develop this skills and they can go do it.” He acts is if they’re saving them from the poverty that many of them lived in, that the NCAA  is singlehandedly making them successful humans. It is never discussed the mental, emotional, and physical tradeoffs had by the student.

This class has pushed to ask so what? And prior to watching this film I have asked that question as it relates to these college athletes. In conversation with a basketball player here, he said “I wanted to take calculus, but they did not let me.” Theres a line between autonomy and power that has been crossed in college athletics. Students’ schedules are catered toward them getting good grades (so they coach gets paid more) and so they can focus on their sport. The film showed that 303 of 91,775 NCAA athletes are drafted. That is .3% of all students put through the machine get a career in which they devoted their whole college years to. They were put through the easier classes to put time into sport but what tare they supposed to do next?

I think this class has helped me grow as a thinker and in starting to find confidence in my own thoughts. I went to high school where the goal was to get the highest test score but not really think about what we were being taught; this class was the opposite in that it really forced me to digest what I was reading rather than memorize every word to pass a reading check. I am naturally introverted and do wish I pushed myself to speak more in this class; however, I think this class has made me more confident in my thoughts, a good start for further discussion-based courses in my Richmond career.

My name is Bianca Rosa Carey. A very Italian/Hispanic first and middle name followed by a very basic American last name. This represents my heritage: a descendent of a Honduran immigrants and farmers on endless acreage fields in Pennsylvania. My mom says it’s good because it gives a me sense of ~cultural ambiguity~. She says “it’s so cool, you can blend in with so many cultures without question.” But is it so cool? I can pass as hispanic when I want or white when I want.  This mixed culture, yet being raised in a very Americanized household, has always conflicted me and this became quite apparent in my trip to Panama.

With my olive skin tone, the presence of Latino culture could be considered obvious. When I went to Panama this fact was evident. Upon my arrival, and even at the Miami airport,  I had people approaching me speaking Spanish. I’d panic because I can’t speak a single word. The divide between both my cultures became apparent. The language barrier continued when I volunteered at a local Boys & Girls Club there. The kids would come speak to me but I had no clue what they were saying. Shortly after, however, I realize that the language barrier doesn’t mean much – we could easily communicate via hand gestures and facial expressions and have the same amount of fun.

Going to Panama was anawakening. As a lesser developed country, the socio-economic injustices were apparent. Yet, the kids were more gracious than anyone I have met in the States. Seeing the living conditions and such diverse culture there saddened me that I had never bothered to explore my own Central American roots. I never bothered to learn the conditions my mom grew up under nor the circumstances that pushed my grandparents to move their entire family to a whole new world. This trip taught me so many lessons but left me questioning my identity – am I actually able to call myself Latina if I don’t know anything about the heritage, language or history?

CREATIVITY + RISK = POLITICS

Madison Moore’s talk brought up many new concepts to the table, all based on the summation of creativity and bringing it to public space (risk) that leads to politics. His whole being, the concept of taking art, style, and euay form annihilation to recreate oneself is apparent in their work as an artist and writer. He asserts that style is way for one to express themselves, that it tells one about their personality and more.

This concept of self-expression via style was connected to what Moore coined “noturnal self.” At night, the “freaks” come out, something about the darkness of night allows one to be our self with no constraints. Like the homeplace is a place to resist social constructs, night time is a time to resist social constructs. For this reason, I believe that the club is predominately Black creator space as it has become a place in which Black people can show their nocturnal self and forget about any and every prejudices they may face during the day – it provides a safe and comforting space for many.

I believe the concept of the nocturnal self is a way of queer politics. Cathy Cohen argues that “queer theory focuses on and makes central not only the socially constructed nature of sexuality and sexual categories, but also the varying degrees and multiple sites of power distributed within all categories of sexuality” (Punks, Bulldaggers, and Welfare Queens 439). Queer politics disrupts dominant norms of sexuality and other dichotomies enforced upon by society. Using one’s own style in the nocturnal self is an example of queering space and challenging society’s perception.

Clubs provide a portal, an outlet for those who feel repressed during the day to outwardly express themselves. Just as Lizzo’s VMA performance showed women they can express themselves, these portals allow for liberation where we reject societal norms by being ourselves. Portals allow people to show they’re true style, a method of self-expression, which therefore welcomes intersectionality within a community.

White Fragility

Robin DiAngelo’s piece inspired me to investigate my role in society as a mixed, half white, half latinx, individual in a racialized society. Much of this course is based on the social construction of race so this piece pulled together the perception of race and how that ties into racism and white supremacy. DiAngelo poses questions such as “who went to good schools? who went to bad schools?… When was the first times you had a teacher of the same race as yours? Did you often have teachers of the same race as you own?… Why is it important to reflect on our teachers in our effort to uncover our racial socialization and the messages we receive from schools?”

The questions posed made me realize my privilege in the system. I went to a high school who boasts about being nationally ranked and ranked #1 in Florida. The kids were usually kids of doctors and lawyers and there was ongoing joke that if there happened to be and African American in your graduating class, everyone know them and their story. I could probably count all the African American students I encountered on my fingers. I went there for seven years. I did not have a teacher who isn’t white until sophomore year. It’s a magnet school so has people coming from around the district; however the accessibility is not there. There’s no buses for high school students and the process to get into the school costs money. This leads to the diversity to be virtually nonexistent. I never really wondered why any of this was but this reading made me realize the system of privilege that school is built upon.

This piece was also the basis of my final project. Cheryl Harris’ concept of whiteness as property in that “it shows how identity and perceptions of identity can grant or deny resources. These resources include self-worth, visibility, positive expectations, psychological freedom from the tether of race, freedom of movementnt, the sense of belonging, and a sense of entitlement”(25) intrigued me and pushed me into further investigation. While I am half white I don’t feel like I adhere to all the stereotypes in order to obtain the inherent benefits. This piece showed me that its not the stereotypes of being white that get me those benefits rather it is my ability to pass as white, to be defined as white in society, that gives me advantages.

As a first year, it’s easy to get wrapped up in finding your niche, making friends, and practically starting an whole new life. This activity allowed me to take a step back and take a breather. I normally don’t directly do “self-care” like face-masks and mani-pedis or something. But to decompress for a bit, I did the following:

Talked to family and best friend. As stated, it’s easy to get wrapped up in new friends and focuss on trying to find “your people” here. Taking just a few minutes to check up on “my people” back home reminded me of my roots while also significantly boosting my mood. For the duration of the talks, I forgot about the whirlwind of UR around me and got to decompress.

Grey’s Anatomy: I think I’ve watched that show more times that I’d like to admit but it’s such a staple. Yeah it’s cheesy and yeah it’s basic but I always find myself going back to it. Like any other show, it allowed me to relax and forget about everything else.

Nap: Just a necessity to rejuvenate and ~conquer~ the day. 

(pictures to come)

Keeling writes, “Jose Muñoz’s argument that “queerness can be understood as ‘a structuring and educated mode of the desiring that allows us to see and feel beyond the quagmire of the present.’ it is a historically specific, collectively produced, shared sense that insists upon an immanent ‘potentially or concrete possibility for another world.’ ‘Not yet here,’ ‘queerness’ for Munoz marks a utopian project that might activate what is ‘no longer conscious’ in the past in the interest of moving toward a ‘not yet here.’ Muñoz understands queerness as a ‘horizon,’ which allows it to be perceived as a ‘modality of ecstatic time’ in which the ‘temporal stranglehold’ of straight time ‘is interrupted or stepped out of.’ Significantly, understanding queerness as a temporal mode yet to be achieved means that ‘doing, performing, engaging the performative as for of and for futurity is queerness’s bent and ideally the way to queerness.’ a temporal mode ‘always in the horizon,’ ‘queerness’ also spatialize, even if only through the imagination of or the desire of it. Queerness produces horizons and, as Sara Ahmed points out in her study of queer phenomenology, other spatial orientations”(86).

Based of her discussions earlier in the chapter, Keeling argues that poetry as a branch of self-study produces metaphysical content that cant be compartmentalized in typical activities that society as a whole are able to easily digest. The enterprise of this temporal narration is peculiar in the e sense that it draws on historical entities while also formulating new embodiments of yet to be understood expressions of what it means to be a human being. Poetry as an entity follows a recognizable timeline while also generating ideas that cannot be understood by society today but in future

In the selected passage, Jose Muñoz describes queerness as a way to look beyond the present and imagine. With knowledge of the past and experience of the present, we think of the future as only playing out in one way. Muñoz is describing queerness as a way to look beyond this linear timeline to set out of the straight times- which we defined in class as the societal norms people feel they have to conform to. Queerness is the link to imagining a world that society tells you is “not yet here.’

With this new concept of queerness in mind and thinking of my course on human rights lawyers, I thought of the role queerness plays in social change. For example, Congresswomen Eleanor Holmes Norton began work in the beginning stages of the women’s rights movement. Before sexual harassment  even had it name, she note the injustices and did something about it. During a time where women’s voices were silence, she worked tirelessly to define sexual harassment as that and issued regulations to work towards a solution. She queered a historically male-dominated positions as the first woman chair of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. In another example, Oliver Hill and Thurgood Marshall devoted their lives in crafting a future of acceptance and duality in their work in Brown vs. Board of Education. These prominent figureheads in our nation’s history saw a different possibility for another world. They lived in a world where they were discriminated against for their sex or race but imagined a time in which that didn’t have to be the case. Like Muñoz and Keeling express in this work, they queered the space – went against what was assumed of them – in order to reach the world they imagined.

Croteau and Hoynes define polysemy as “the notion that multiple meanings can coexist in media content”(270). Every person has a different identity and different experiences that make them them. This leaves them to interpret different media pieces in different ways. Therefore, polysemy is a desirable feature for producers to draw audiences form a variety of demographics. They go onto differentiate Stuart Hall’s decoding versus encoding. Decoding uses “implicit knowledge and knowledge to interpret a media piece whereas encoding is the process of media makers using constructs to embed their piece with meaning.

I normally just watch media (Youtube, Netflix, etc.) for the purpose of leisure.  I’ve never really thought of the deeper meanings each producer tries to encode into each episode or asked myself, “what else there is.” But I believe subconsciously decode everything I watch. My emotional response to as movie is completely different than that of the person next to me due to the culture I grew up in and media I consume – everyone’s implicit knowledge is different.

This idea of individuals’ varying implicit knowledge is related to our own personal reflections in watching When They See Us. Knowing that the show could evoke a myriad of diverse emotions for each of us, we were urged to watch it in the comfort of our home place. I think this was the first step in allowing us to fully interpret the piece in our own ways. The director Ava DuVernay used the concept of polysemy to broaden her audience: it’s not aimed for the people like the exonerate five. Rather DuVernay encoded the piece with so many themes, from institutionalized racism to the corrupt justice system and the acceptance of trans individual to appeal to different audiences.

While I don’t know the lived experience of growing up in the inner-city amongst institutionalized racism, my experience working at the Boys & Girls Club made me emotional while watching this. The majority of my kids are African Americans, receive free and reduced lunch, an indication of living near or below or the poverty line, and  live in what my town considered to be the “bad parts.” These kids are so happy and brought some sort of light to my life. Watching this piece made me think of the inherent racism they will face growing up. While When They See Us seems like an extreme of consequences of the power systems, it’s really not. It just took one person’s persistence to get the five behind bars.

This course allowed me to decode When They See Us with a critical lens. It led to my asking “What else is there?” and “so what?” The viewing of this piece is so much  more than the surface level themes presented. It provoked me to investigate my role in U.S. society – from how I view media to how I can turn my interpretations into actions.